Feb 5, 2013

Smokers are wiser?

Lady: Do you smoke?

Guy: Yes I do. 
Lady: How many packs a day?
Guy: 3 packs.
Lady: How much per pack?
Guy: $10.00 per pack.
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Guy: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack is $10.00 and you have been smoking 3 packs a day which puts your spending per month at $900. In 1 year, it would have been $10,800. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: If 1 year you spend $10,800, not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending total at $162,000. Correct?
Guy: Correct.
Lady: Do you know if you hadn't smoke, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have by now bought a Ferrari?
Guy: Oh. Do you smoke?
Lady: No.
Guy: Then where's your Ferrari?





P.S. Lesson of the day: Never try to bullshit a smoker... 

Feb 2, 2013

Financial apocalypse if Pakatan wins?

To be truthful, similar to many, I had voted for the dacing for the Parliamentary seats in the last General Election. The State seats votes went to the opposition.

This kind of voting methodology is not really rocket science, it is what we called as 'test water'.

And I guess through the administration of state of Penang, I think the water is proven warm enough and perhaps this time round, it is time to go in for a full swim.

For those who are afraid that a change in government will cause economical instability and massive share market losses, I guess you just have to live with how much the Big brother going to fark you back nicely once they got their arrogance up with the fresh mandate.

They have invested so much in the past, I am sure winning the next election is the ticket to Paradise to more plundering of rakyat's money.

Hell, we're already getting fark nicely now itself. Here's 2 videos of testament to it.

And this.



I am no financial genius, not even a thrifty guy to begin with.

But here's what the expert gotta say. Let's digest them and let it helps you in deciding your choice in the ballot paper:
To Whom It May Concern:
If you are indeed scared of a Pakatan victory, and thinks that the market will fall 500 points, may I advise all BN supporters to open a futures account and sell a few contracts of the KL index. That way, if Pakatan wins, you still make mah .... If BN wins, then quickly reverse contract lor ... what's the fuss??
The scare tactics is getting ridiculous. If you hold shares you can sell down first ... such a looong period for you to sell your shares from October last year till February today also no announcement of election leh. Will your EPF account get hit in a fall? Not really because the majority of your EPF funds are in bonds. Because 75% of investment funds are concentrated towards bodies closely linked to trends in the interest market rate, including Malaysian Government Securities, loans or bonds, and money market instruments, low interest rates for the past few years had an adverse effect on returns for EPF investments. Hence the real impact from a drop in share prices will be muted. 
 
My view is that in the event of a Pakatan victory, the index may test 1400 briefly. If we have a smooth and quick transition with no chaos, then we will be back to 1600 within two months. I can safely say that there are a lot of international funds NOT investing in Malaysia because of the current government who will seriously consider investing again if Pakatan wins. 
Money is money, what they don't like is uncertainty. If transition is smooth, money will return just as swiftly as it left. Just go ask the Thai investors, they change government how many times already in the past 10 years with weekly rallies and protests to boot and their market has outperformed ours over the last 3, 5 years.
P.S. Vote with your brain and also your balls!

Anyway, here's possibly how the cookie gonna crumble this GE...

Table 1: The possible outcome in GE13.

no
STATE
PR
BN
1
PERLIS
1
2
2
KEDAH
13
2
3
KELANTAN
13
1
4
TERENGGANU
4
4
5
PENANG
12
1
6
PERAK
18
6
7
PAHANG
5
9
8
SELANGOR
20
2
9
WILAYAH PERSEKUTUAN
10
1
10
PUTRAJAYA
0
1
11
NEGRI SEMBILAN
6
2
12
MELAKA
2
4
13
JOHOR
12
14
14
LABUAN
1
0
15
SABAH
12
13
16
SARAWAK
16
15


145
77

Here's a video to keep your common sense intact:


 

Hands tapped by Prof - TWICE!!



All alone guarding the fort - the whole full board recognizing the full labor ward.

My wardmates left to attend teaching and presenting for our monthly Census. 

Out of the flash, Prof appeared.
I presented the whole ward of patients by referring to the maternity board.
Alerted by a staff nurse after noted a suspicious fetal tracing, we made our way to that patient. 
The fetal tracing was indeed suspicious, bordering on pathological. 
A quick review revealed the mother had indeed entered 2nd stage of labor. 
I scrubbed up and attempted to guard the perineal with my right hand as the baby's head is crowning.
Prof tapped my hand. 
PAAAKKK!!
hands-off-baby
"Hands poised!" he said. 
I removed my hand. 
The lady kept bearing down and the baby's head kept coming down. 
I moved my hand back to the similar place, stuck tightly with the perineal body.
My Prof tapped me again - TWICE!!

PAAAAKKK!!!
hands-off-baby
"Hands poised, young man" he exalted, again.
Therefore, first time in my working history (was not that long to begin with), I stood at the end of the bed, overlooking the delivery of a baby without any perineal guarding.
And her perineal only have a short second degree tear.
Tiu. It was sublime. For that moment in time.
Was it luck? Was it a coincidence?
Is 'hands poised' another fancy English term by Prof T?
I decided to look it up academically (basically just googled it - lah).

I don't even know wtf is the meaning of poised.
Here's what I got from Reducing Genital Tract Trauma at Birth 
 The first was a study from Great Britain that assessed the role of hand maneuvers for the actual birth in a large, randomized controlled trial.[4] In this study (called the HOOP trial, for "hands on or poised"), some 5,471 women were randomized to either "hands on" (one hand flexing the baby's head and the other hand guarding the perineum) or "hands poised" (both hands off, but ready to apply light pressure to the advancing head in the case of rapid expulsion) at delivery of the baby. Both approaches are taught in British midwifery education programs for management of birth, and both are practiced in the United Kingdom. 
Midwife compliance with the experimental allocation was 84% overall, 95% in the "hands on" group and 70% with "hands poised." After each birth, trauma to all sites in the genital tract was systematically assessed and recorded by the attending midwife. This was the first large clinical study to provide a detailed and complete picture of the total array of genital tract trauma sustained by women having normal, spontaneous vaginal births. 
Results of the HOOP trial showed that trauma is indeed a very common experience of low-risk childbearing women: 68% had major or minor trauma to the perineum, 61% had vaginal lacerations, and 11% had episiotomies. The trauma profiles of women in the "hands on" versus "hands poised" groups were virtually identical (recall that the techniques were used at expulsion of the baby, and not earlier in the labor). However, marginally fewer women in the "hands on" group reported perineal pain at the 10th postpartum day (31% versus 34% for the "hands poised" group). 
This represents a 3% absolute difference (95% confidence interval, 0.5% to 5.0%; statistically significant because the confidence interval for the risk difference does not overlap 0). While this difference is small, it is of interest to U.S. midwives because "hands on" for management of the actual delivery is the practice norm in this country.
And all this time, for the people, mostly HOs or nurses who conducted the delivery, ending with obstetric anal sphincter injury, the superiors would just screw them up nicely for not guarding the perineal properly and send them to some classes.

When all they need is to stand up (after reading this post) and reply "Hands poised".

P.S. it appear like I am rather stupid, not knowing all this all this time.