Aug 9, 2009

amusing flu clinic

2 days ago, I was post call. A bit tired. But then again, I registered myself for locum in A&E, looking forward to learn new things beyond what my department has to offer.

Yet, for my first session, I was pretty stuck in the 'flu clinic' - in the Green Zone, where the resident A&E MOs would gladly give it a 'pass', to give others the fair share of opportunities to gain some 'active immunity'.

For those who are pretty healthy all their life, and so far never been to the Accident and Emergency... here's the thing
Zones of A&E is colour-coded, and if I am not mistaken
Green zone - for the walking ones
Yellow zone - for those groaning in pain
Red zone - for those way past the 'groaning' part, and now playing 'dead'
Black zone - no such zone. One floor down - mortuary.

Okay, there I was sitting there, baffled at my assistants, a nurse and a medical assistant. Both of them with a surgical mask on. Feel like punching myself in the face.

Punch Face

Not because I was stuck in the viral loaded room, but simply because these professionals who work day and night here, couldn't get a decent N95 mask to protect themselves. Come on lar.

And when I asked for one, they told me, "Department only gives us the surgical mask"

Get real, man. Even the our Malaysia's H1N1 protocol by DG stated that all medical staff handling flu patients to be given N95 masks in black and white.

I had to make my way into Yellow zone and into some admin office to get it myself, with a little help from some much-wiser medical assistant.

Then the long line of patients, I was thinking I would be punching myself for the second time, but then, I was over amused by the range of patients that I was seeing.

Secretly, I was giggling beneath the N95.

I was wondering what's really cooking inside their brain.

Cook in brain

An uncle came into the long flu queue just to reach me after 4hours of waiting with only some throat dryness. No fever, no flu symptoms, no contact history. Clean as a whistle except for probably poor fluid intake. Then he asked me how to avoid H1N1.

My answer: Don't go near people with flu. Stay out of crowd, especially the crowd in hospital with variety of bacterial, and always wash your hands. Drink more water. (In Bahasa Melayu, of course)
What I really want to tell him - Pack your bags, grab all the essentials including portable modem, and hike up the mountain to a secluded area. Stay there alone, plant your own vege, hunt for your meat, and keep yourself updated. Come back to civilization when everything cleared up.

A mamat came in all jacket and looked tired, or tried his best to look tired. Almost an 'Oscar-award winning' show. No fever. Started to have cough yesterday. As he told me he had cough, he coughed a bit. No runny nose. No contact.
I told him: Now, I will give you some cough medicine.
Mamat: I don't need medicine. I need some rest. My work very stressful.
Me: Don't worry stress is good for your cough.
Mamat: I think I need rest.
Me: I think I am not going to give you M.C.
Then as I was leaving hospital, I saw him puffing away the old Marlboro's cig sticks. WTF. (WTF = WonDerFul?)

An ah beng bang the door loudly and rushed in.
Ah Beng(AB): WOOOOOOOOOOOIIII!!! I waited so long, so tired. cannot breathe. why no doctor to see me. How can you let me wait so long. . I waited 3 hours since 12noon. Haven't even eaten lunch yet...(fluently full sentence spoken)
Me: oh. (turn to the pakcik that I am seeing) Pakcik, kamu datang pukul berapa?
Pakcik: Pukul sebelai stegoh...
Me: (look back at the Ah Beng) So...
There was slight hint of Ah Beng's balls shrunk few mls and he went outside.
Then I told the nurse: If he really breathless and going to collapse, bring him into Yellow Zone.

A mother brought her 2 years old daughter.
Me: how is she?
Mother: she's ok
Me: have fever?
Mom: No.
Me: have cough?
Mom: No.
Me: have runny nose?
Mom: No.
Me: have shortness of breath?
Mom: No.
Me: have contact with H1N1 patient?
Mom: No.
Me: err.. why you come?
Mom: I brought her along to Tesco, and someone coughed at the payment counter. Not very near, but it was in the same queue. I just wanna screen for H1N1 just to be sure.
Me: err... okay, come back if she had any flu symptoms.

All this amusing experience, definitely boost my immune system through endorphin.


Haris Abdul Rahman said...

Always a worry when there is lack of accurate and consistent information. All the resources seems to go on other things ......

Michelle Mak said...

is this wat u guys do daily ah??
especially the last case...
if every pt walk in like dat...
i think the doc's will pengsan even more faster...

overproctective la...

Anonymous said...

personally,i think majority due to media over exaggerate ba..all the high light on morbidity & mortality rate on news..leading more misunderstanding info among population about h1n1.