From the Daughter of the Sun. the Newspiece.
Reminds me of the time at the age of 2years plus,
when my Dearest wife asked my little Genevieve whether she still want breast milk.
Little Genevieve requested: Can you pour them out?
(=,=")
Showing posts with label home chronicles: little angel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home chronicles: little angel. Show all posts
Aug 16, 2013
Unorthodox breastfeeding position
From the Daughter of the Sun. the Newspiece.
(=,=")
Jul 20, 2013
The fitting things for fits
Calm Sunday morning.
Thought of waking up - naturally.
Naturally basically means sleep till late late, but kids are already jumpy and going all over the bed like baboons in the zoo.
My wife and I craved for the beef noodle near the old town.
We forced ourselves up and got dressed up for that awesome morning meal.
By the time we were there with my 2 little angels, the whole place was packed with people from all walks of life.
That shop was hidden away into small alley and without any signboard of the shop's name.
Frankly-speaking, it doesn't need a name.
Everyone seems to know this place.
As we sat down and began to order, the dried a.k.a. gravy version, mee and koay teow had already finished... at 845am.
Only left were the noodles with soup version.
Still a good enjoyable dish.
The next table was filled with a group of youngster, possibly in their early 20's.
A few of them started to light up a ciggie each.
It annoyed me a lot as my kids were there exposed to those toxic fumes.
Intermittently, I stared at them, the few who lighted up, giving them my infamous crazy eyes stare.
Luckily the nicotinic aroma did not travel to my table as the fan was directing the wind away from my table.
Out of sudden, a sudden crash was heard.
The soup of a youngster who sat just behind me were splashed all over the place.
My initial thought was they were playfully fighting or playing, but as I turned over, I could see above my shoulder, a young man was basically fitting on his chair.
All of his friends, in their stylish half-blonde and semi-redhead hairstyle, were stunned and tried to hold him down and tight as if their strength will stop him from shaking.
I quickly ordered my wife to bring my children to the other side of the table.
With the help of his friend, a plump guy with less clothing or hairstyle sense but more senses in everything else, we brought him down to the floor slowly and put him in left lateral position.
All his other friends just stood there, indulging in their own anxiety, puffing away more ciggies and basically blowing those smokes to their fitting friend and to my face.
I asked them to go away and provide more air for his friend and the plump friend (let just call him fatso) was suddenly on the phone.
While holding the phone, Fatso pinched on the fitting friend's nose and obliterating it, as I was holding his cheek turning him left lateral.
I was shocked, surprised and practically speechless.
Fatso revealed he was talking to the fitting friend's mother and that was fitting boy's mom's order.
I quickly slapped that hand off the nose as I saw the lips slowly turning cyanosed.
At that point, I had to declare my identity as doctor and I know what to do.
The fit aborted spontaneously but he was still drowsy and breathing in deeply.
The blueish discoloration of the lips went into a crimson shade of relief.
I asked for help to fan the fitting guy and someone volunteered to do it with the newspapers folded into two.
On and off, there will be people, mostly looks like those who survived Japanese occupation, coming over my ears and trying to convince me to shove a spoon into his mouth or do something to prevent him from biting his own tongue.
One actually suggested putting in a finger.
I smiled at them, although, I could not tell you how much I wish to laugh out frantically and suggest to them to volunteer their fingers.
I explained that it is important not to put as if foreign body broken off it may cause choking.
I also explained turning to side will prevent the tongue from falling back and block the airway.
Fatso continued to talk to the mom, telling the mom, I was pressing on the fitting man's neck.
"Helloooo.... This is cheek and not neck lah."
Anxiety-induced visual illusion.
"Please call for ambulance." I ordered.
Fatso asked me "Mister, do you have the phone number of ambulance?"
My mind was yelling "WTF!" but my words was exactly "Call 999 and ask for hospital".
I was not sure if it was education failure or community failure or just purely another anxiety-induced morbid panic, even as a young chap when my legs were short and my shorts were small, I always knew 999 was for police, firemen and ambulance.
The ambulance couldn't come because they don't know where were we.
Really couldn't blame them, this place was pretty hidden away from the main streets.
That person slowly regained consciousness and I asked him if he knew who he was.
I asked Fatso what was the fitting boy's name. "Yxx Hxx"
As if in a deep slumber, he answered "I am Suai Ker Xing (Handsome Xing)." and fell back to sleep.
All his friends quickly brought him into their "sport car", modified version of our local car and they sped off to the nearest hospital.
It's been quite long time since I last seen any fits.
The last fit that I encountered was the 5 seconds eclampsia that spontaneously relieved, too fast for my eyes. This was like 5 years ago.
Wifey was impressed and sort of figure out I am not just another lame fanny doctor.
It was an eye-opener to my kids and they are still trying to digest what exactly was happening.
All my cute daughter told me was "That uncle is sick."
As a whole, I think my medical and public health colleagues still have a lot of grounds to cover as even the epileptic's mother do not know how to administer the correct first aid (WTF, pinch nose and obstruct nasal airway) and the general public as a whole in the misperceptions in attending to person with seizure.
Here's a good read about seizure treatment.
Thought of waking up - naturally.
Naturally basically means sleep till late late, but kids are already jumpy and going all over the bed like baboons in the zoo.
My wife and I craved for the beef noodle near the old town.
We forced ourselves up and got dressed up for that awesome morning meal.
By the time we were there with my 2 little angels, the whole place was packed with people from all walks of life.
That shop was hidden away into small alley and without any signboard of the shop's name.
Frankly-speaking, it doesn't need a name.
Everyone seems to know this place.
As we sat down and began to order, the dried a.k.a. gravy version, mee and koay teow had already finished... at 845am.
Only left were the noodles with soup version.
Still a good enjoyable dish.
The next table was filled with a group of youngster, possibly in their early 20's.
A few of them started to light up a ciggie each.
It annoyed me a lot as my kids were there exposed to those toxic fumes.
Intermittently, I stared at them, the few who lighted up, giving them my infamous crazy eyes stare.
Luckily the nicotinic aroma did not travel to my table as the fan was directing the wind away from my table.
Out of sudden, a sudden crash was heard.
The soup of a youngster who sat just behind me were splashed all over the place.
My initial thought was they were playfully fighting or playing, but as I turned over, I could see above my shoulder, a young man was basically fitting on his chair.
All of his friends, in their stylish half-blonde and semi-redhead hairstyle, were stunned and tried to hold him down and tight as if their strength will stop him from shaking.
I quickly ordered my wife to bring my children to the other side of the table.
With the help of his friend, a plump guy with less clothing or hairstyle sense but more senses in everything else, we brought him down to the floor slowly and put him in left lateral position.
All his other friends just stood there, indulging in their own anxiety, puffing away more ciggies and basically blowing those smokes to their fitting friend and to my face.
I asked them to go away and provide more air for his friend and the plump friend (let just call him fatso) was suddenly on the phone.
While holding the phone, Fatso pinched on the fitting friend's nose and obliterating it, as I was holding his cheek turning him left lateral.
I was shocked, surprised and practically speechless.
Fatso revealed he was talking to the fitting friend's mother and that was fitting boy's mom's order.
I quickly slapped that hand off the nose as I saw the lips slowly turning cyanosed.
At that point, I had to declare my identity as doctor and I know what to do.
The fit aborted spontaneously but he was still drowsy and breathing in deeply.
The blueish discoloration of the lips went into a crimson shade of relief.
I asked for help to fan the fitting guy and someone volunteered to do it with the newspapers folded into two.
On and off, there will be people, mostly looks like those who survived Japanese occupation, coming over my ears and trying to convince me to shove a spoon into his mouth or do something to prevent him from biting his own tongue.
One actually suggested putting in a finger.
I smiled at them, although, I could not tell you how much I wish to laugh out frantically and suggest to them to volunteer their fingers.
I explained that it is important not to put as if foreign body broken off it may cause choking.
I also explained turning to side will prevent the tongue from falling back and block the airway.
Fatso continued to talk to the mom, telling the mom, I was pressing on the fitting man's neck.
"Helloooo.... This is cheek and not neck lah."
Anxiety-induced visual illusion.
"Please call for ambulance." I ordered.
Fatso asked me "Mister, do you have the phone number of ambulance?"
My mind was yelling "WTF!" but my words was exactly "Call 999 and ask for hospital".
I was not sure if it was education failure or community failure or just purely another anxiety-induced morbid panic, even as a young chap when my legs were short and my shorts were small, I always knew 999 was for police, firemen and ambulance.
The ambulance couldn't come because they don't know where were we.
Really couldn't blame them, this place was pretty hidden away from the main streets.
That person slowly regained consciousness and I asked him if he knew who he was.
I asked Fatso what was the fitting boy's name. "Yxx Hxx"
As if in a deep slumber, he answered "I am Suai Ker Xing (Handsome Xing)." and fell back to sleep.
All his friends quickly brought him into their "sport car", modified version of our local car and they sped off to the nearest hospital.
It's been quite long time since I last seen any fits.
The last fit that I encountered was the 5 seconds eclampsia that spontaneously relieved, too fast for my eyes. This was like 5 years ago.
Wifey was impressed and sort of figure out I am not just another lame fanny doctor.
It was an eye-opener to my kids and they are still trying to digest what exactly was happening.
All my cute daughter told me was "That uncle is sick."
As a whole, I think my medical and public health colleagues still have a lot of grounds to cover as even the epileptic's mother do not know how to administer the correct first aid (WTF, pinch nose and obstruct nasal airway) and the general public as a whole in the misperceptions in attending to person with seizure.
Here's a good read about seizure treatment.
May 13, 2013
May 1, 2013
Junior's milestones!
First time celebrating birthday at school...
It's great to see his 1malaysia schoolmates
It's great to see his 1malaysia schoolmates
Family photo. Great shot by the class teacher, Miss Tan.
Cute and friendly Miss Tan, Aedan's beloved class teacher
Anxious parents waiting for children to go on stage.
Surprisingly, I am the only guy there.
Surprisingly, I am the only guy there.
My boy paying attention to the MC on stage
Group photos for the leading preschool tukang karut,
teachers and KungFu 校长*
Sharing present and trophy with sister.
Genevieve exclaimed that her brother won the 'Cat' trophy.
The trophy does look like having two pointy sharp cat ears.
Genevieve exclaimed that her brother won the 'Cat' trophy.
The trophy does look like having two pointy sharp cat ears.
Kembang moments!!
Unwrapping present is like courtship
- full of joy, anticipation and curiosity
- full of joy, anticipation and curiosity
*Snippets of school life...
Aedan: Mummy, you know our school have KungFu 校长...
Wifey: Really? (=,=") He teaches Kungfu?
Aedan: No lar... People just called her Kung Fu 校长...
Later we found out, it was not Kung Fu 校长 but Kung 副校长...
P.S. Special thanks for my colleagues who agree to change call with me without hesitation and those who covered my ward in my absence. Deepest gratitude to you all for making my presence to my junior's milestone a reality. Thanks!!
Mar 30, 2013
First father-daughter hair braiding!
Post-bathing ritual called 'Wrapped like Sausage'...
wrapped up my daughter from neck to toes with towel
She will start counting from 1 to 10 or go from A to Z
wrapped up my daughter from neck to toes with towel
She will start counting from 1 to 10 or go from A to Z
As she reached 10 or Z, I will lift her up high above my head
Lift off!!!
Skills training always starts with side by side tutelage.
Wife did my daughter's left, I did the right side.
Feedback: a bit loose at the beginning.
(Note: 'a bit' was added)
(Note: 'a bit' was added)
Zoom in on my side.
One-day-old braidman.
Upclose on my wife's side.
An experienced braidmaster since young.
Dec 23, 2012
Oct 25, 2012
Aedan's first 2 trophies !!
Last year, he went to the Annual Concert as the happy bee without any bling-bling to keep...
Sep 18, 2012
Hexagon!
Yesterday, little 2-years old Genevieve went into a shape-naming frenzy in the car.
She saw the forward and reverse buttons in the car radio and she went: Triangle, that also triangle.
Then he saw the other round buttons and she mumbled: Circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle (Woman's nagging skill: intact)
I stopped my car at a T-Junction. Suddenly, she pointed at the sky and shouted: Hexagon
WTF! I did not learn about such a shape until I was in the primary.
(Just thinking, not saying out loud, of course)
She saw the forward and reverse buttons in the car radio and she went: Triangle, that also triangle.
Then he saw the other round buttons and she mumbled: Circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle, circle (Woman's nagging skill: intact)
I stopped my car at a T-Junction. Suddenly, she pointed at the sky and shouted: Hexagon
WTF! I did not learn about such a shape until I was in the primary.
(Just thinking, not saying out loud, of course)
Jun 17, 2012
Jun 1, 2012
Speech | Oral or Cerebral?
Some people advocated that by talking less, it will create less problem.
But that for one is a very general statement that does hold water at all.
A simple fact is the people with speech disabilities surely encounters more difficulties in life.
Probably the problem does not really lie in the words or phrases coming out of the oral cavity. At the end of the day, the real organ that governs how that message will be expressed or interpreted is the might bulk in the cranial cavity.
Here's Buddhism collection of guide in Right Speech.
Right Speech is the third of the eight path factors in the Noble Eightfold Path, and belongs to the virtue division of the path.
The definition
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
— SN 45.8
Five keys to right speech
"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."
— AN 5.198
The danger in lying
"For the person who transgresses in one thing, I tell you, there is no evil deed that is not to be done. Which one thing? This: telling a deliberate lie."
The person who lies,
who transgress in this one thing,
transcending concern for the world beyond:
there's no evil
he might not do.
— Iti 25
Speak only words that do no harm
"One should speak only that word by which one would not torment oneself nor harm others. That word is indeed well spoken.
"One should speak only pleasant words, words which are acceptable (to others). What one speaks without bringing evils to others is pleasant."
— Thag 21
Self-purification through well-chosen speech
"And how is one made pure in four ways by verbal action?
"There is the case where a certain person, abandoning false speech, abstains from false speech. When he has been called to a town meeting, a group meeting, a gathering of his relatives, his guild, or of the royalty, if he is asked as a witness, 'Come & tell, good man, what you know': If he doesn't know, he says, 'I don't know.' If he does know, he says, 'I know.' If he hasn't seen, he says, 'I haven't seen.' If he has seen, he says, 'I have seen.' Thus he doesn't consciously tell a lie for his own sake, for the sake of another, or for the sake of any reward. Abandoning false speech, he abstains from false speech. He speaks the truth, holds to the truth, is firm, reliable, no deceiver of the world.
"Abandoning divisive speech he abstains from divisive speech. What he has heard here he does not tell there to break those people apart from these people here. What he has heard there he does not tell here to break these people apart from those people there. Thus reconciling those who have broken apart or cementing those who are united, he loves concord, delights in concord, enjoys concord, speaks things that create concord.
"Abandoning abusive speech, he abstains from abusive speech. He speaks words that are soothing to the ear, that are affectionate, that go to the heart, that are polite, appealing & pleasing to people at large.
"Abandoning idle chatter, he abstains from idle chatter. He speaks in season, speaks what is factual, what is in accordance with the goal, the Dhamma, & the Vinaya. He speaks words worth treasuring, seasonable, reasonable, circumscribed, connected with the goal.
"This is how one is made pure in four ways by verbal action."
— AN 10.176
Its relation to the other factors of the path
"And how is right view the forerunner? One discerns wrong speech as wrong speech, and right speech as right speech. And what is wrong speech? Lying, divisive tale-bearing, abusive speech, & idle chatter. This is wrong speech...
"One tries to abandon wrong speech & to enter into right speech: This is one's right effort. One is mindful to abandon wrong speech & to enter & remain in right speech: This is one's right mindfulness. Thus these three qualities — right view, right effort, & right mindfulness — run & circle around right speech."
— MN 117
The criteria for deciding what is worth saying
[1] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
[2] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
[3] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but unendearing & disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them.
[4] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.
[5] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.
[6] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, and endearing & agreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. Why is that? Because the Tathagata has sympathy for living beings."
— MN 58
Speak only the speech
that neither torments self
nor does harm to others.
That speech is truly well spoken.
Speak only endearing speech,
speech that is welcomed.
Speech when it brings no evil
to others
is pleasant.
— Sn 3.3
Reflect on your speech, before, during, and after speaking
[The Buddha speaks to his son, Rahula:] "Whenever you want to perform a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I want to perform — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal act, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful verbal act with painful consequences, painful results, then any verbal act of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful verbal action with happy consequences, happy results, then any verbal act of that sort is fit for you to do.
"While you are performing a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal act, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.
"Having performed a verbal act, you should reflect on it... If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful verbal act with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful verbal action with happy consequences, happy results, then you should stay mentally refreshed and joyful, training day and night in skillful mental qualities."
— MN 61
Kinds of speech to be avoided by contemplatives
"Whereas some priests and contemplatives, living off food given in faith, are addicted to talking about lowly topics such as these — talking about kings, robbers, ministers of state; armies, alarms, and battles; food and drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, and scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women and heroes; the gossip of the street and the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity [philosophical discussions of the past and future], the creation of the world and of the sea, and talk of whether things exist or not — he abstains from talking about lowly topics such as these. This, too, is part of his virtue.
"Whereas some priests and contemplatives, living off food given in faith, are addicted to debates such as these — 'You understand this doctrine and discipline? I'm the one who understands this doctrine and discipline. How could you understand this doctrine and discipline? You're practicing wrongly. I'm practicing rightly. I'm being consistent. You're not. What should be said first you said last. What should be said last you said first. What you took so long to think out has been refuted. Your doctrine has been overthrown. You're defeated. Go and try to salvage your doctrine; extricate yourself if you can!' — he abstains from debates such as these. This, too, is part of his virtue."
— DN 2
"Monks, do not wage wordy warfare, saying: 'You don't understand this Dhamma and discipline, I understand this Dhamma and discipline'; 'How could you understand it? You have fallen into wrong practices: I have the right practice'; 'You have said afterwards what you should have said first, and you have said first what you should have said afterwards'; 'What I say is consistent, what you say isn't'; 'What you have thought out for so long is entirely reversed'; 'Your statement is refuted'; 'You are talking rubbish!'; 'You are in the wrong'; 'Get out of that if you can!'
"Why should you not do this? Such talk, monks, is not related to the goal, it is not fundamental to the holy life, does not conduce to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, tranquillity, higher knowledge, enlightenment or to Nibbana. When you have discussions, monks, you should discuss Suffering, the Arising of Suffering, its Cessation, and the Path that leads to its Cessation. Why is that? Because such talk is related to the goal... it conduces to disenchantment... to Nibbana. This is the task you must accomplish."
— SN 56.9
Ten wholesome topics of conversation
"There are these ten topics of [proper] conversation. Which ten? Talk on modesty, on contentment, on seclusion, on non-entanglement, on arousing persistence, on virtue, on concentration, on discernment, on release, and on the knowledge & vision of release. These are the ten topics of conversation. If you were to engage repeatedly in these ten topics of conversation, you would outshine even the sun & moon, so mighty, so powerful — to say nothing of the wanderers of other sects."
— AN 10.69
How to admonish another skillfully
"O bhikkhus, a bhikkhu who desires to admonish another should do so after investigating five conditions in himself and after establishing five other conditions in himself. What are the five conditions which he should investigate in himself?
[1] "Am I one who practices purity in bodily action, flawless and untainted...?
[2] "Am I one who practices purity in speech, flawless and untainted...?
[3] "Is the heart of goodwill, free from malice, established in me towards fellow-farers in the holy life...?
[4] "Am I or am I not one who has heard much, who bears in mind what he has heard, who stores up what he has heard? Those teachings which are good alike in their beginning, middle, and ending, proclaiming perfectly the spirit and the letter of the utterly purified holy life — have such teachings been much heard by me, borne in mind, practiced in speech, pondered in the heart and rightly penetrated by insight...?
[5] "Are the Patimokkhas [rules of conduct for monks and nuns] in full thoroughly learned by heart, well-analyzed with thorough knowledge of their meanings, clearly divided sutta by sutta and known in minute detail by me...?
"These five conditions must be investigated in himself.
"And what other five conditions must be established in himself?
[1] "Do I speak at the right time, or not?
[2] "Do I speak of facts, or not?
[3] "Do I speak gently or harshly?
[4] "Do I speak profitable words or not?
[5] "Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious?
"O bhikkhus, these five conditions are to be investigated in himself and the latter five established in himself by a bhikkhu who desires to admonish another."
— AN V (From The Patimokkha, Ñanamoli Thera, trans.)
But that for one is a very general statement that does hold water at all.
A simple fact is the people with speech disabilities surely encounters more difficulties in life.
Probably the problem does not really lie in the words or phrases coming out of the oral cavity. At the end of the day, the real organ that governs how that message will be expressed or interpreted is the might bulk in the cranial cavity.
Here's Buddhism collection of guide in Right Speech.
Right Speech is the third of the eight path factors in the Noble Eightfold Path, and belongs to the virtue division of the path.
The definition
"And what is right speech? Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, & from idle chatter: This is called right speech."
— SN 45.8
Five keys to right speech
"Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?
"It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will."
— AN 5.198
The danger in lying
"For the person who transgresses in one thing, I tell you, there is no evil deed that is not to be done. Which one thing? This: telling a deliberate lie."
The person who lies,
who transgress in this one thing,
transcending concern for the world beyond:
there's no evil
he might not do.
— Iti 25
Speak only words that do no harm
"One should speak only that word by which one would not torment oneself nor harm others. That word is indeed well spoken.
"One should speak only pleasant words, words which are acceptable (to others). What one speaks without bringing evils to others is pleasant."
— Thag 21
Self-purification through well-chosen speech
"And how is one made pure in four ways by verbal action?
"There is the case where a certain person, abandoning false speech, abstains from false speech. When he has been called to a town meeting, a group meeting, a gathering of his relatives, his guild, or of the royalty, if he is asked as a witness, 'Come & tell, good man, what you know': If he doesn't know, he says, 'I don't know.' If he does know, he says, 'I know.' If he hasn't seen, he says, 'I haven't seen.' If he has seen, he says, 'I have seen.' Thus he doesn't consciously tell a lie for his own sake, for the sake of another, or for the sake of any reward. Abandoning false speech, he abstains from false speech. He speaks the truth, holds to the truth, is firm, reliable, no deceiver of the world.
"Abandoning divisive speech he abstains from divisive speech. What he has heard here he does not tell there to break those people apart from these people here. What he has heard there he does not tell here to break these people apart from those people there. Thus reconciling those who have broken apart or cementing those who are united, he loves concord, delights in concord, enjoys concord, speaks things that create concord.
"Abandoning abusive speech, he abstains from abusive speech. He speaks words that are soothing to the ear, that are affectionate, that go to the heart, that are polite, appealing & pleasing to people at large.
"Abandoning idle chatter, he abstains from idle chatter. He speaks in season, speaks what is factual, what is in accordance with the goal, the Dhamma, & the Vinaya. He speaks words worth treasuring, seasonable, reasonable, circumscribed, connected with the goal.
"This is how one is made pure in four ways by verbal action."
— AN 10.176
Its relation to the other factors of the path
"And how is right view the forerunner? One discerns wrong speech as wrong speech, and right speech as right speech. And what is wrong speech? Lying, divisive tale-bearing, abusive speech, & idle chatter. This is wrong speech...
"One tries to abandon wrong speech & to enter into right speech: This is one's right effort. One is mindful to abandon wrong speech & to enter & remain in right speech: This is one's right mindfulness. Thus these three qualities — right view, right effort, & right mindfulness — run & circle around right speech."
— MN 117
The criteria for deciding what is worth saying
[1] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
[2] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.
[3] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but unendearing & disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them.
[4] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.
[5] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.
[6] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, and endearing & agreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. Why is that? Because the Tathagata has sympathy for living beings."
— MN 58
Speak only the speech
that neither torments self
nor does harm to others.
That speech is truly well spoken.
Speak only endearing speech,
speech that is welcomed.
Speech when it brings no evil
to others
is pleasant.
— Sn 3.3
Reflect on your speech, before, during, and after speaking
[The Buddha speaks to his son, Rahula:] "Whenever you want to perform a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I want to perform — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal act, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful verbal act with painful consequences, painful results, then any verbal act of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful verbal action with happy consequences, happy results, then any verbal act of that sort is fit for you to do.
"While you are performing a verbal act, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal act I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal act, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.
"Having performed a verbal act, you should reflect on it... If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful verbal act with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful verbal action with happy consequences, happy results, then you should stay mentally refreshed and joyful, training day and night in skillful mental qualities."
— MN 61
Kinds of speech to be avoided by contemplatives
"Whereas some priests and contemplatives, living off food given in faith, are addicted to talking about lowly topics such as these — talking about kings, robbers, ministers of state; armies, alarms, and battles; food and drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, and scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women and heroes; the gossip of the street and the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity [philosophical discussions of the past and future], the creation of the world and of the sea, and talk of whether things exist or not — he abstains from talking about lowly topics such as these. This, too, is part of his virtue.
"Whereas some priests and contemplatives, living off food given in faith, are addicted to debates such as these — 'You understand this doctrine and discipline? I'm the one who understands this doctrine and discipline. How could you understand this doctrine and discipline? You're practicing wrongly. I'm practicing rightly. I'm being consistent. You're not. What should be said first you said last. What should be said last you said first. What you took so long to think out has been refuted. Your doctrine has been overthrown. You're defeated. Go and try to salvage your doctrine; extricate yourself if you can!' — he abstains from debates such as these. This, too, is part of his virtue."
— DN 2
"Monks, do not wage wordy warfare, saying: 'You don't understand this Dhamma and discipline, I understand this Dhamma and discipline'; 'How could you understand it? You have fallen into wrong practices: I have the right practice'; 'You have said afterwards what you should have said first, and you have said first what you should have said afterwards'; 'What I say is consistent, what you say isn't'; 'What you have thought out for so long is entirely reversed'; 'Your statement is refuted'; 'You are talking rubbish!'; 'You are in the wrong'; 'Get out of that if you can!'
"Why should you not do this? Such talk, monks, is not related to the goal, it is not fundamental to the holy life, does not conduce to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, tranquillity, higher knowledge, enlightenment or to Nibbana. When you have discussions, monks, you should discuss Suffering, the Arising of Suffering, its Cessation, and the Path that leads to its Cessation. Why is that? Because such talk is related to the goal... it conduces to disenchantment... to Nibbana. This is the task you must accomplish."
— SN 56.9
Ten wholesome topics of conversation
"There are these ten topics of [proper] conversation. Which ten? Talk on modesty, on contentment, on seclusion, on non-entanglement, on arousing persistence, on virtue, on concentration, on discernment, on release, and on the knowledge & vision of release. These are the ten topics of conversation. If you were to engage repeatedly in these ten topics of conversation, you would outshine even the sun & moon, so mighty, so powerful — to say nothing of the wanderers of other sects."
— AN 10.69
How to admonish another skillfully
"O bhikkhus, a bhikkhu who desires to admonish another should do so after investigating five conditions in himself and after establishing five other conditions in himself. What are the five conditions which he should investigate in himself?
[1] "Am I one who practices purity in bodily action, flawless and untainted...?
[2] "Am I one who practices purity in speech, flawless and untainted...?
[3] "Is the heart of goodwill, free from malice, established in me towards fellow-farers in the holy life...?
[4] "Am I or am I not one who has heard much, who bears in mind what he has heard, who stores up what he has heard? Those teachings which are good alike in their beginning, middle, and ending, proclaiming perfectly the spirit and the letter of the utterly purified holy life — have such teachings been much heard by me, borne in mind, practiced in speech, pondered in the heart and rightly penetrated by insight...?
[5] "Are the Patimokkhas [rules of conduct for monks and nuns] in full thoroughly learned by heart, well-analyzed with thorough knowledge of their meanings, clearly divided sutta by sutta and known in minute detail by me...?
"These five conditions must be investigated in himself.
"And what other five conditions must be established in himself?
[1] "Do I speak at the right time, or not?
[2] "Do I speak of facts, or not?
[3] "Do I speak gently or harshly?
[4] "Do I speak profitable words or not?
[5] "Do I speak with a kindly heart, or inwardly malicious?
"O bhikkhus, these five conditions are to be investigated in himself and the latter five established in himself by a bhikkhu who desires to admonish another."
— AN V (From The Patimokkha, Ñanamoli Thera, trans.)
May 26, 2012
Apr 12, 2012
Mar 31, 2012
Aedan at the MoonGate
I was being returned to hiking up to Station Number 5 through the jungle route of Sua Tu Kia (Little Wild Hogs) from the Moongate, together with my colleague and superior.
First time. Breathless. Tachycardic, almost SVT. Sore gastrocnemius.
Second time. Still breathless. Still tachycardic. Took a few pics. Explored other routes in descending. Got lost for half an hour. Reach the bottom before looming dark.
The natural arc (lower one third)
Red yellow shades of leaves.
Monkeys going my way... (Looks like a scene from Planet of Apes)
Moments before being lost. All smiles.
Decided to introduce the exciting route to my Dearest. Impromptu decision to hike. Aedan broke down in tears. Heartbroken at the decision to leave him behind. Brought him along as unable to persuade him otherwise.
Stretching his legs high up
Turning left to the Sua Tu Kia (Little Wild Hogs) trail
On the right would be Sua Tu Lor (Wild Hogs Road)
Both not-so-halal...
On the right would be Sua Tu Lor (Wild Hogs Road)
Both not-so-halal...
Not able to hold a smile. Tired.
Finally, we reached Station 5. Aedan was still energetic.
And it was pitch black the last half 15minutes of our descend.
And it was pitch black the last half 15minutes of our descend.
Note to self: If Aedan tagging along, should go earlier.
Dec 27, 2011
Nov 25, 2011
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)