Dec 27, 2005
The reason probably why xmas is so popular perhaps would be it is the only other season besides Chinese New Year that someone would have the privilege to wear red, or perhaps it is a time where somehow it seems like everyone is having a birthday. Everybody receiving gifts for everybody is always an unforgettable nice moment, unless of course, you find that
the process of thinking what to buy,
the process of going through shopping complexes to buy something,
or the process of forking out a great amount of money to buy so many gifts
is a truly agony too harsh to bear.
Anyway, xmas is xmas,
it is a season of green, white and red,
a season of xmas trees and santa clauses,
a season of snow,
a season of xmas carols,
a season of going places for holiday,
a season for wild shouting and countdown,
a season to count your blessings, etc…
my xmas was spent at orchard road, singapore. It was really a wild countdown and everyone was flocking around like there were gangfights all over orchard road. Everyone were there. The rich, the poor, the old, the children, the babies, the elated ones, the depressed ones, you name it, you got it.
this is my second time at singapore. my last time in singapore (>10years back) was also during xmas time, and was also at orchard road. At that time, the lightings were cool and great but the people were less wild. I remembered how my dad kept saying how wonderful to celebrate xmas at the orchard road, over and over and over and over again…. over and over again. Couldn’t recall how great it was back then, but the most significant thought about that trip was it was my first time on a plane, from Penang to Changi, Singapore.
This year, everything was wild and dangerous. Not snowing at the tropical country does not deter the ah bengs at singapore of mass importing the "snow in the can" and making the whole orchard road a war zone. It is actually looks like hairfoam in the aerosol can, going at the price of S$10 for 5 cans. People just blasted away the snow at one another like hong kong movies. One guy actually held the two cans as if he was holding 2 guns and as he shoots he SPINNED around. knuckle head. i suspect he was on pills on that night. Anyway, not just the youngsters were at it, even the middle aged (40-60years old) also bought several cans and shot around at everyone randomly enjoying the moment, perhaps de-stressing themselves from their everyday’s work. nice to see their participation. Foreigners got blasted like mad, and one actually turned into a walking snowman.
All this aerosol is from china, and they may be just some
damn cheap stuff which is hazardous to health. i wonder whether any health or environmental officials care to check them out. no report about them so far. I googled about it.
Got lots of photos with some else’s camera, so will be uploaded later, much much later. wouldn’t risk bringing my palm camera into such a risky place.
The best thing about xmas this year was I celebrated it with someone special, and staying over at her sister’s place.
being a unpaid student, i made something special for her.
white xmas in a can. (CFC-free) - copyrights not reserved -
taking the train to Singapore
Xmas eve travelling - chinatown complex
Xmas night at my faculty - the most best that i had seen in 5 years. Cheers!!
Dec 23, 2005
So, let’s say the dozen of students who had been deeply encouraged by their enriching palliative experience in Taiwan deserved to ignore the lecturer, we still have more than 80% of the class. They chose to ignore this one simply because it is not coming out for the exam, and maybe most medical students care more about diagnosing rather than the totality of management itself, which palliative care is a part of.
I agree that I am being self-righteous when I label my coursemates as kiasu. But sincerely, the reason for my previous post is my utter disappointment with the shallowness of the future doctors who cannot even give one hour to listen a palliative care lecturer who came all the way to UMMC, probably with no pay, who is just interested to enlighten our darkened minds something about caring for the terminally ill.
So what if we can diagnose a 6th nerve palsy due to a cerebral abscess secondary to AIDS, if we know nothing about the palliative options of this AIDS patient?
Amongst those who stayed behind for the lecture, some were playing Bingo, some were reading their medical handbook, some were chit-chatting, some were sleeping, some have no idea what they are doing in medical school. Very few actually cared.
If this is the kind of attitude my future consultants have in the hospital, then I fear for the terminally ill patients of their time.
shallowness is always there.
people are born shallow.
some actually grew to become more shallow unfortunately, fallen victim to their instinct to survive.
in the spirit of malaysia boleh,
palliative is part of management, who cares.
rehab is part of management, who cares.
lifestyle is part of management, who cares.
alternative medicine is part of management, who cares.
all ppl interested is in the advanced pharmacotherapy or surgical technique
at least, that is what our examiner would be interested to know, so they think.
i had the most disturbing experience in my recent rehab class about orthosis and prosthesis, one of my coursemates actually asked me to sit in front, so that i could answer any question from the rehab dr, dr rameezan. "y u can’t answer meh?" "no lar, i am not interested, not as interested as you do, i can’t be bothered" i gasped, nearly anoxic.
albeit, rehab dr, palliative team, primary care dr, is often being perceived as less important.
but in real fact, lots lots and i shall repeat again, lots have actually forgotten that the best part of medical management that really does matter which is preventive medicine, as the old saying goes "prevention is better than cure".
if the prevention is good,
we would have less cancer patient in palliative,
less MVA survivors in rehab,
etc etc etc…
but since we still in the "malaysia boleh*" state, hopefully we should still harp onto "to cure sometimes, to relieve often, to comfort always", hoping this will be better in the future, where doctors will be doctors, not "veterinarian"
transformation of heart largely is by self-effort and self-realization, living up to one’s principle and conscience despite pressure from peers and others.
kiasuism is always a relative thing.
self righteousness is always a relative thing.
prof philip poi once told me, "sometimes you all are just too relax, and not being kiasu enough"
* malaysia boleh ada orang merokok di tangga hospital dan tempat larangan merokok seperti universiti
malaysia boleh ada rekod terbaik dalam bilangan kemalangan jalan raya
malaysia boleh ada orang lepas sakit jantung masih hisap rokok bagaikan ubat
malaysia boleh banyak banyak lagi
lastly, in medicine, no one should be ignored, the most important person in the management is not the specialist nor the consultant, often forgotten, it is the PATIENT.
Dr. Liew "we must empower the patient and also give power to the patient"
Dec 22, 2005
few days ago, i nearly got mugged. i came back to college to get some stuff at around 9:30am and i was in the room, leaving my door closed but not tightly closed. A malay guy opened my door and saw me. He responded "Roslan adakah?" I know he is lying, but he was bigger than me. Wrestling him down may cost me a fracture or some other traumatic soft tissue injury. I was alone in the whole block. Therefore, I just keep cool, holding a mug (not seen by him) and pretended to ask further in the most casual manner, just to complete my inspection (the next time i meet with him, I could recognize him easily). He backed out of my room.
me: siapa roslan?
villain: dia pelajar tahun 2, medic.
me: oh, tak kenal lar
villain: dia pemain hoki
me: tak ada lar, tak ada pelajar tahun kedua main hoki. you dari mana?
villain: i dari API (akademi pengajian islam). tak apa, i cari sendiri. terima kasih (and he cabut)
I reported this matter to the office. And the makcik at the office told me prior to this, there was already a case of stolen wallet and handphone in the lower floor. Why aren’t all the occupants being forewarned?
I told the makciks at the office to paste a notice. They said "ok". But that "ok" seems to be a malaysian "ok", meaning the notice will probably be out after a rough estimation of another 5 to 10 cases of theft at the college.
The makciks also asked me to write a report, a formal one.
Ingat saya sangat senang ke? formal lagi?
Wouldn’t it be easier if i report it to police? at least the police will type the report for me.
nearly being mugged is not a disaster, spending 5 minutes with that 2 makciks is.
a better word for disaster is malapetaka. you can feel it.
- words from Dr. Kwan
- the water cooler near my room is ALIVE AGAIN!!!
- i’m nominated as one of the contender in Mr.Personality at our MPIS nite. (some sort of prom night). I know I won’t win. I am just being there to pad up the number of nominees. But still, I am happy that my eventual defeat will make that winner feel better about himself, and I wish him well.
- Xmas night was a great success last night. great decorations, great activities. great job, guys!
Dec 20, 2005
Apakah hebatnya jika
kupanjangkan umur kamu
tanpa kubantu kamu
bersedia untuk meninggal?
Almost the whole class gave an applause of satisfaction when the rheumatology lecturer ended his lecture which was full of good jokes and exam tips. When he left the lecture hall, half the class began to leave just as the next lecturer was coming in.
The next lecturer was Dr.Ednin Hamzah from Hospis Malaysia, who came to lecture us about palliative care.
It was a good lecture. Probably had it been given in Singapore, Hong Kong, or London, it would be a memorable lecture for a medical student. But unfortunately, almost all of my fellow colleagues are too shallow or indifferent to give a damn about the business of helping people die peacefully.
A tinge of self-righteousness here, but I think our fellow students are too KIASU as to even waste time on something that would not be tested in our exit examination. For them, what matter are the 11 criteria of SLE, the different causes for cyanosis, the steps to examine for 5th nerve palsy, and all that academic stuff that make them shine like a gold medallist. Palliative care? Don’t waste my time, please, I can almost hear them say.
In the hospital, I see many frustrated patients and parents. They are not getting well, long hospital stay, because our doctors do not know when to stop treating, and start palliating. We do not know how to explain our actions, just thinking that they are too stupid to understand the basis our clinical practice guidelines.
Unfortunately, the smart ones who will one day be consultants in my great hospital are the ones who left the palliative care lecture. Because the smart ones also happen to be the most kiasu.
Sorry, my dear coursemates, but that’s what I think some of you are - Kiasu and shallow!
my comment (plus and minus):
people could not stay for class is because all they wanted is to pass… no, i’ll revised that.. is to ace their final exam, or at least pass it with ease.
all this while, they are following their instinct, not their conscience,
or perhaps they believe that to follow their conscience IS to succumb to their instinct.
palliative class is a bore, at least, this class is, frankly (i do not practise hypocritism, nor am i implicating that tauke is practising it). you can’t just strike a person with an idea, a vision or an ultimate dream by a simple lecture, and words that doesn’t carry much weight.
weightage comes from experience,
weightage comes from practicality of matter,
weightage comes from realizing that someone dearest or yourself is living or perhaps dying the palliative way….
"only after the last meat had been hunted down, last fish had been caught off, the last drop of clean water and air had been taken in, only then one will realize that money can not be eaten"
i had been exposed to the established palliative care during my elective last year at tzu chi hospital, hua lien, taiwan.
the experience is one of its kind, and nothing can replace how much it made me realize the importance of palliative.
how one touches another person’s heart required great effort, endless perhaps, but one can never never ever ever ever give up, and sadly to say, labelling people negatively would never help. It would be just like critizing smokers as annoying and moron.
y makes things so difficult.
John: No, if you wanted it back, you got to ask me yourself. You got to act with your mind and conscience, not blindly following your instinct. That is the difference between you and him [pointing to the oinking boar that was caught after falling greedily into John's trap]
Charlie did asked him 3 times after a period of struggle, and J
watching one of the episodes in "Lost", there was this inspiring scene. All of people in this series are survivors of a plane crash in an exotic island. There was this guy, Charlie who was totally wasted, stoned and addicted to a pack of drug, which falls into the hand of another person, John Locke.
Charlie: give me back my drug.
John: I’ll give you back if you asked me 3 times.Charlie: If you ain’t giving me back, you might as well throw it, wh
ohn disappointingly gave Charlie back the drug. But Charlie, at that point, threw that drug into the burning fire, that light up the cave they are living in, (added by moi) and at the same time, lighting up his brand new life without drug.
it is similarly, in the spirit of challenging one’s capability of controlling our instinct that make us different from animal. We see to it that we are not the animals who are surviving the medical school (this seems to be a famous phrase -"surviving medical school"), we must be the doctors who earn every wisdom from medical school by our own effort and by our own commitment.
what the world need is for someone, or perhaps a group of somebody starting doing things practically and we’ll see how the rippling effect goes.
it’s time we walk the talk, or else, this will be just another blog entry in somewhere that deem to be repeated in the future as just another blog entry in somewhere else.
tr.v. bored, bor·ing, bores To make weary by being dull, repetitive, or tedious: The movie bored us.
n. One that is wearingly dull, repetitive, or tedious.
n 1: Old World wild swine having a narrow body and prominent tusks from which most domestic swine come; introduced in United States 2: an uncastrated male hog
Dec 19, 2005
speaking of god… yesterday, i had the most furious day of my life. well, ok, not the most, i had worse times before.
here’s how it all happen… My posting group will be having anaest class every monday, 1:30pm. It is close to universal truth about the arrangement of this schedule. Yesterday, 2 of them told me they did not know about this class and asked why I did not remind them about the class in the morning(they urgently need to hire a nanny to remind them, since they are still behaving like a big baby. Can’t imagine them being a doctor, reminders from patients perhaps?!?!). The schedule of class was stated so since the beginning of time (at the first or second day of posting, meaning 4 weeks ago).
Even so, I tolerated the childishness and informed them that class is starting at 1:30pm when I arrrived at OT at that time. I waited patiently together with 2 other groupmates, with the lecturer from anaesthesiology department in the OT. They came at 2:20pm. (To calculate how late they are: 2:20pm - 1:30pm = 50 minutes). The lecturer was a benign one.
Makcik A & B : We don’t know about the class.
Me: I was stated since the start of posting, others(my two groupmates with me) know about it.
Makcik A: No lar, you didn’t tell me this morning. (signs that she urgently need a nanny)
Me: Ok, but I called and sms-ed you at 1:30pm, why so late?
Makcik A: I sembahyang lar….
Me: (silent mode)
(feeling: obviously furious "everyone knows you don’t need 50 minutes to sembahyang")
N.B. not a single word of "sorry" to the people who had been patiently waited for them.
I am buddhist, and I believe in Gods, plenty of them in heaven, not believing in particular creator God. But she is an avid believer of her own one and only God. But I found it most annoying and disgraceful for someone to bring god into the picture. One of the groupmates that were present with me at 1:30pm had skipped lunch (I don’t know why, as we had no class that day from 11:00 am onwards) and gone for prayers just to make it to the anaest class. He is not a dilligent guy, but he never ever bring God into his own mistakes or errors.
The same thing also happened during my O&G on-call days (few months ago), where Makcik A wanted to have extra 30 minutes of break more than others, because she had to "sembahyang". Of course, I courteously rejected her suggestion.
I bear no grudges to Makcik A as a whole, as I always know that she is good girl generally, and this attitude of bringing god into the picture is somehow over the line, way OVEEERRRRR….
Someone should talk to her. I believe there will be someone who’s reading this, and that someone will tell her. (To someone: Thanks)
Dec 17, 2005
Dec 15, 2005
PSD refers 44 medical graduates abroad to A-G
KUALA LUMPUR: The Public Service Department (PSD) has referred to the Attorney-General’s Office the case of 44 government-sponsored medical graduates who failed to return after completing their studies overseas.
Parliamentary secretary in the Prime Minister’s Department Datuk Mohd Johari Baharum said the graduates did not apply to defer their return to Malaysia, which violated the terms of their agreement with the PSD.
“The Government agreed to allow graduates to stay back for between one and four years but with permission from the PSD and under certain circumstances,” he said in reply to a question by Tay Puay Chuan at the Dewan Negara yesterday.
He said among the circumstances were if the graduates were pursuing studies at a higher level or waiting for their spouses to complete their studies or training.
On their return, he added, the graduates would be required to register with the Public Service Commission and the Malaysian Medical Council to facilitate their appointment in the civil service.
A total of 264 medical graduates have failed to return after completing their studies.
They were among the graduates whose applications to stay back were rejected.
Mohd Johari said government-sponsored students who failed to return must pay back the costs incurred, which included study fees, allowances and flight tickets.
Previously, in 2003, such graduates would have been fined RM160,000, but now they have to pay all the costs, which in the case of those who studied in Ireland amount to almost RM1mil per student. – Bernama
conclusion: no wonder, our country is short of doctors… and also short of funding for lots of our health services… over these years, if the calculation is correct, we had lost RM 264 million. The names of those "doctors" should be published in local newspapers for "stealing" 1 million from all the down-to-earth black, brown, yellow-assed tax-payers in our country.
PSD took 2 years to come up with the idea of raising the fine from RM 160, 000 to RM 1 million denotes:
- lack of efficiency in PSD, never could really walk the talk
- there will be slim chance for the complete collection of fines, and if it does happen (a miracle!), it will probably be in the year 2030 (thanks to prediction by Madame Zouk, gypsy at 3rd alley down Old Klang Road).
- as for now, there will be a continuous outflow of money to sponsor medical candidates abroad.
To all christians, or christmasians (non-christian who actually loves Xmas more than christians)…
Season of joy, season of giving, home is where the heart is,
Be at home, and have yourself a merry, merry little Xmas…
pilo-ism: there’s a million ways to skin a cat, there’s also a million ways to skin the tax payers money, and the best way is to get a loan and turn it into a ’scholarship’.
Nov 26, 2005
Nov 25, 2005
been very disappointed that lots of ward rounds been postponed to next week, meaning it would be real pack… REAL PACKED UP… hardly time to draw breath, perhaps… plus i volunteered to be the group leader…
why am i so stupid? why am i so naive? shit shit shit
Currently in orthopaedic surgery posting a.k.a. carpentry posting. Just look at how they attempt to refix back the bone, drilling nails into them, realigning them, relieving any obstruction, draining out any pressuring fluid or pus, modifying bones…. But come to think of it, they are more of a botanist, skillful ones perhaps, gently nurturing back the bones, the cartilage and other soft tissues…
ok… back to the "today is a happy day. today is a nice day. today is THE day." issue - today we had ward round or teaching session with Prof Razif.
This is the most dynamic lecturer that I had met.
Funny, good jokes, poker face.
Teaching technique, marvellous.
Exam-orientated balanced with realistic medicine, definitely.
In practical exam (long case or short case), he is always being blatantly curious why is it so difficult for the undergraduate to pass…
- about inspection: "come on lar. it is so easy, the patient is there, just read the patient, that reading any text" "if the sky is blue, just say BLUE"
- about palpation & manouvre: "stupid exam is a act, so act"
- about presentation: "always economize your words, why say patient have reduced movement in flexion and extension when you can just say - stiffness." and he keeps reminding about phrases that we can reduce them to words, even words with multiple syllables can be reduced to lesser syllables.
- about medical student who is damn silent at practical: "why spend 5 years, reading 30books, and now, all your friends engineering and etc earning thousands, and you are still in poverty, and coming to exam - and you keep quiet (both his eyes uproll)"
great to have Prof Razif with UMMC… God bless Dr.Razif. Someone who actually understand that we are still in poverty, unlike the dean*.
P/S it would be fun if i can invite Dr. Razif to Friendster =)
(*forcing us to pay RM30 even though we will not be attending the Centennial Dinner)
* regarding it, here’s Sue’s cynical remarks, titled "lesson":
sy baru je belajar sesuatu yg sgt berharga… untuk
jd seorg dr yg prihatin terhadap pesakit, kite
kenala byk menderma kepada tabung pesakit. oh,
lepas tu tak boleh derma seikhlas hati, kena
derma rm30 tak boleh kurang, lebih takpe.
it’s ok if u don’t have money, u have to derma
anyway. fork out the money in any way u can, as
long as u get the money. it’s ok if u have less than
rm10 in ur purse, it’s ok… derma je. kalau tidak
nanti tak boleh jd dr yg prihatin. no need to go
through endless hours of communication skills,
PPD la, caring for patients la… no need all that to
be a caring dr, u just need lots of money untuk
derma kat pesakit.
Nov 19, 2005
- how about getting a independent body to review our public examination’s standards?
- get a few reporters (professional ones) to go undercover to write a few stories about a day work of a government servant I bet you’ll probably regret making this move.
Nov 14, 2005
Just found out from Mika that a cheerful bubbly coursemate of mine is currently warded for acute appendicitis in UMMC, going for operation tonight. Wishing her getting back to health soon and a successful non-scarring surgery…
Received news that the attack is not that severe, she had a delicious supper at Delifrance last night. Could be something else than appendicitis? Probably, it is time for a syndrome to be named after her.
went to Dana at Lunas… that’s mommy dearest
revisiting the sea side near fort cornwallis - new facelift
gurney drive… for a meaningful breakfast at my fav restaurant
And the most interesting that I had been to during the break is PENANG TURF CLUB
THE BOOK: complete incomprehensible -sifu required.. still looking for one
THE PEOPLE: the betting crowd… smokers and bad grooming… horrendous…
THE HORSE: horse displaying their amazing physique before the race…
Nov 7, 2005
during respite, hugging closely to STAR newspaper, just could not resist sharing some of the mind-boggling hoo-haas about uni and penghuni uni like moi(me,my in french… i think)-self.
HOO HAA PERTAMA: TOLAK MASOCHISM
Lim said the Cabinet should censure Prof Datuk Dr Hashim Yaacob for his public pronouncement that he was “not worried” and instead felt “great happiness” over the decline of the university’s position in the international ranking.
uncle lim, thanks for stating the obvious. prof is really out of this league. ever heard of the story about the emperor’s new clothes? don’t ever brag about the only-the-smart-people-can-see new enchanted magical clothes, when all that were on display is a full frontal nudity. Pai seh, really.
by the way, the UM owes all the non-bumis hamper full with chocolates from the Willy Wonka’s factory for the outstanding placing last years, according to the theory by this chap.
HOO HAA KEDUA : GRADUATES MENG-GRAPES
A degree used to be a passport to a good career and better life. But not anymore…..
……….It seems that most of the new graduates do not have such skills. This could be the reason why some 60,000 graduates are unemployed in the country……..
…………“Now, children spend hours after school in tuition classes. They also have to go for a full school day on Saturday to study past years’ papers to prepare for the exams,” he said.
“Schools are competing with each other to see who scores more As.” …….
now, after saying all that about As and dumb graduates. Next year, when the results of STPM, SPM, PMR or etc finally reveal themselves, I hope the hardworking journalists in whole Malaysia would pop the big question to the top scorers: What else can you do besides scoring As? or what other activities? or just ask some simple questions, can you screw a light bulb? ever hold a meeting?
HOO HAA KETIGA: THE-MOLE-CRAZY CAMPUS SUE-THE MA-TEE
….“For example, the short campaign period made it difficult for voters to get to know the qualified candidates; the implementation of a serial number system in ballot paper infringed on voters’ privacy, and students who were suspected of being pro-opposition were stripped of their hostel accommodation rights,” she said.
This year students were given two days to campaign…
pssst… sorry, I can’t comment too much. I can’t bear being stripped off my hostel accomodation rights.
Nov 4, 2005
"early greetings: Sell-a-mat hairy rile-ear i-deal-feet-3, apology tzar-hill and butt-in"
one actually was amused and replied to me, "you bar-rule bar-leg darley london, ke?"
Went to my sister’s shop during the raya eve and taken a cute photo of a cute little girl sitting there, taking her sweet time admiring the items at my sis’s shop. darn cute…
Oct 27, 2005
The Star, Wednesday October 26, 2005
Government supports plan to get non-Muslims to wear tudung
THE Government has okayed a ruling by International Islamic University (IIU) which compels non-Muslim students to wear the tudung, saying the rule was not religious in nature.
"…..must respect one another….. must respect the laws…. to ensure there is no disturbance to the community.
“As the rule was approved by the university senate, it is not religious in nature but a matter of uniforms (pilothoughts:
my foot) that must be followed. It does not breach basic human rights,” said MO, who is in charge of national unity (pilothoughts: national unity is really at stakes now) ….
If this was allowed, they said non-Muslims might be made to wear the tudung elsewhere such as to Parliament House.
….issue was raised in Parliament on April 3, 2003 …… stated that non-Muslims were not compelled but “encouraged” to wear the tudung in IIU.
“So why the change now? Is this not disrespectful of a plural society?” Lim asked…..
complete article here.
Do anyone ever bother to think about ardent Muslims students in other countries? Would they be happy to comply if the university in other countries ask them to take off their tudung as a matter of uniform, or perhaps a matter of security (just in case there were hidden weapons, not funny, i know… i apologize, bygones).
Anyway, I found the idea of "non-Muslims might be made to wear the tudung elsewhere such as to Parliament House" rather amusing. Wouldn’t hurt if the government pick one day (only one day, not everyday definitely) probably 1st of April as National Tudung and Songkok Day and make it a public holiday (as if we had not enough public holidays in Malaysia). Let us all wear the traditional Malay attire. Sounds cool, don’t you agree?
Note for myself today:
- Must save enough money to invest in famous shops selling tudungs and songkoks.
- Must try to establish an unique franchise shops or stalls selling tudungs and songkoks with multicultural (chinese and indian) designs.
- Start designing them.
A conversation before PSY tutorial today:
Shawn Hariri: second time reading ur blog, not bad, but should have said more about Mesjid Kapitan Keling…
Pilo: Hmmn… ok.. Are you as neutral as the Indian MPs about the ‘keling’ matter?
SH: You kidding, damn pissed!! What to do, we’re the minority…
Pilo: no offense, may i ask, "keling" for southern Indians, as for northern Indians, you called….
SH: "kelang"? (ROTCL*)
Pilo: yeah, right… if they got married, their sons and daughters is "keliling"… (ROTCL*,too)
* rolling on the chair laughing. floor is dirty, u know.
To muslimats and muslimins, forgive me "outside" and "inside" (maaf zahir dan batin) and wishes you all great times back in the lap of your parents and siblings…
To my Hindu friends, feel the flame, forever burn in your heart and let the flame lights up the whole world. (caution: be careful of pyromaniacism)
HAPPY HOLIDAYS to the rest… sleep tight, eat right, play kite…
To a special friend Ming Chiann, who had just flew to Netherlands after landing a good job, I wish her BON VOYAGE and may she start a wonderful life there, as wonderful as her life in Malaysia, if not, better….
Trails of pilocarpine:
Pray hard, no jams this evening, I am going back to Penang with the 6:30pm Konsortium bus. and having a whole week of holiday in Penang. Quality time with my family, definitely!!
Oct 26, 2005
"………Badruddin, who was debating the 2006 Budget at committee stage, expressed concern over what he described as the increasingly rampant yet inappropriate practice of young men wearing earrings. (pilothoughts: darn inappropriate, only old men can wear those earrings. Safer and less complication. Young men should try more daring body piercing like tongue, nipple, umbilicus, scrotal skin, perianal skin…)
Chong Eng (DAP-Bukit Mertajam) told him it was culturally acceptable for Indian men to wear earrings and that his statement should be put into context.
Even more here.
Just finished liaison geriatric psychiatric ward round with Dr. Esther, an excellent geriatric psychiatrist and her sidekick for the moment, Dr. Sharan (yes, Sharan, not Sharon, no Freudian slip here). Seen lots of old patients and the sad effects of the inevitable aging. I suddenly missed my parents very much. But I told myself, "Friday, I’m going back to Penang. I shall hug my parents dearly. For once, let me have the courage to adopt this western value."
I am not sure, but I hope I am not addicted to blogging. One thing for sure - someone dearest to me made an official complaint about it, and my juniors, the phase 3As made a smirky remarks about it and the rest of the world just go pissed because "Kah Pin has updated his blog" kept coming up into their mailbox. I forward my apology if this had became a stressor for you - you can turn them off, you know…
I think blogging is a good way to vent off anger, which I did once a while, just like what other blogs did most of the time. Other than that, most of the time, I just want to share with my thoughts. Subconsciously, there are probably 1001 reasons why I blog - shall sleep on it tonight.
Here’s something to ponder upon:
"First, blogging improves the quality of debate. For instance, an article in the Washington Post, ‘The Rise of a Market Mentality Means Many Go Hungry in Niger’ in August 2005, drew furious responses from bloggers. That’s nothing new, of course: people have always read newspaper articles and grumbled to their spouses over the breakfast table. The difference is that now commentators can find each other, track the debate, air their differences and discover more about the facts behind the story. Blogging technology makes it easy to collect comments and see who is citing your ideas. Readers are able to chase the debate across the internet at the click of the mouse, and contribute to it themselves - no matter if they are a CEO in New York or a student in a Nairobi internet café. Meanwhile, new research and opinion-forming analysis is quickly disseminated and discussed - and the number of new blogs is doubling every five months or so."
No disgusting annoying photos in this entry. No exhibition of middle finger. No intended vulgarities as a whole.
OK, fellow intellects and fair citizen out there, now, dig this -
UM medical faculty is having a major
tu lan dinner at shangrila hotel, called the tu lan centennial dinner, with other respectable rich members of the UM medic alumni, Drs and Profs. They are combining with other 3 faculties - nursing, biomed and pharmacy. It’s RM60 for interested student, RM100 for others. They had a major lan ciao problem - lack of attendance from medical student. We don’t dig lan ciao buffet dinner at lan ciao big hotel, unless it is a drug talk, where it is lan ciao free. We are not gullible beings, but we are downright not that well-off. Plus, we needed to spend around RM1000 just for the text books and stuff. Then the dean, made it lan ciao compulsory for the all the medical students to go, from first years up to final years. Plus the lan ciao dinner is in the middle of our raya holiday, meaning we need to fork out extra bucks for the lan ciao bus fare, and spoil our holiday plan. Now, latest order from dean, if we not going also have to pay lan ciao RM30 per head. For what? lan ciao ar. Plus according to Don, our respectable batch leader, dean mentioned 2 extra points:
1 If the head of family is supporting this, why can’t the rest of the family support? (pilothougthts: head of family is suppose to protect us, be the breadwinner, supportive and understanding of our situation, not screwing us for money or forcing us pay RM30 for nothing, unless of course, if the head of family is into the ALONG business)
2 If other students from other (presumedly lower) courses can go, why can’t we? We’ll will be earning more than them next time. (pilothoughts: but for now, I am still a son to a down-to-earth metal engraver, a typical borderline middle class student, taking partial scholarship from Tan Cheng Lock, somehow similar to 60% of other students, regardless of what course they are in. I agree the students last time are generally poorer than the students nowadays, but we are still poor, and not everyone of us feels
damn elated spending bucks that we did not earn)
Sorry for the sudden outburst of vulgarities… Tourette syndrome probably… I getting help liao… Thanks for the concern.
Sharing the word of wisdom from Prof.SYTan,our nephrologist and professor of medicine:
"There is no use being the first centre to do successful renal transplant surgery if there will not be a continuous programme of cadaveric donations and transplant surgery."
"Our country has one of the lowest rate of cadaveric organ transplant (almost non-existent). Most of cadaveric organs are harvested from fatal road traffic accident victims. A country like ours which have one of the highest accident death rates in the world have an almost non-existing cadaveric organ donation programme is quite a pity (pilospeaks:
damn tragedy) . Long way to vision 2020."
He also did comment about the Malaysian culture where one would boast endlessly about the "facilities", but always lacking in the "service" department. So true, so true.
for further enquiry:
The National Transplant Resource Center
Hospital Kuala Lumpur
Jalan Pahang 50586
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Tel: 603- 926 0066, or 603- 294 2704, or 603- 294 2756
Oct 24, 2005
Complaint to college admin, refered to UM Bendahari & Harta Benda… Still no news… Pengetua mentioned some students kicked it, and now it is spoilt, so it can’t be repaired.
Students = scapegoats. Mekkkkk!!!
This morning, I met my junior who travelled a great distance from H block down to my block just to collect water from another functional water cooler. He mentioned that the most of the water cooler in his block is brewing milo constantly. Darn… that’s the same condition that I had when I stayed in block H 3 years ago.
Why do we need a water cooler, if it is not functional? When will they stop blaming Jabatan Bekalan Air Selangor for the milo, kopi, or nescafe?
Here’s my scrap book of stuff from my 1st year…
1. black & white poster of my idol, produced by my old printer, and previously graced my dormitory’s door.
(see how bersemangat they are?)
2. a note left for me from this mamat in the Guthrie study room. Brings back lots of fond memories during the innocent first year.
"Friendster blog, yours make interesting reading.
We were on par once some weeks ago with our
number of hit, but i think you have twice as many
visitor as me now…
If your have problem leaving msg on the blog, that
is what i did. When u click on sign in to comment,
you are redirected to Friendster Home Page, just
need to sign in, then press the back button on
your browser, and u should be back in the
comment page and should be able to start typing.
Give it a try."
I must really kow tow Friendster for subjecting us to sign in for it whenever we wanted to give any comment plus putting us through all the red tape. But luckily for my pal, I got this unorthodox suggested method. And so, I proceed with my little experiment, and I found out that it works 18 times out of 20 trials. As a result, I shall recommend this method to all my fellow readers.
By the way, do visit my pal’s blog. Here’s a sneak preview
"Tofu Egg (Made Simple) Recipe
Few eggs, lightly beaten. Add in same amount of water. Lightly salted and add some soya source. Mix well. Steam on extra low fire until solidify. If you see holes on your Tofu Egg, your fire is too strong. Do it again.
The idea of this dish is plainness."
Sep 28, 2005
have u guys read the star newspaper report on
asians learning to spend their weekends n
reducing the working hours…well i just dont feel
part of this new sensation or watever u wanna call
it as we the future drs have to work for hours n ppl
still think that its acceptable…just bcos the senior
drs have gone through the phase n some still do
it…n say that its a pride n a responsibilty…well we
have responsibility not only to pts but to ourselves,
family n happiness…without those will I b able to
sit my ass thru these 5 yrs of medicine?…how can
something b normal what its not…we r lying 2
ourselves…the truth is plain 2 see..theres only so
much u can do in a day 4 pts…sigh
define normal, please.
is it normal as in what the majority of public is going through is considered as normal?
normal 9 to 5 job and continue the normal day by entertaining our children and helping our ladies with the normal dinner or so, or had a normal evening of minor sport games?
I hope someone out there could enlighten me. We had so many medical schools all around malaysia producing so many medical doctors, yet we had insufficient doctors to attend to patient. I heard postulation/speculation that many doctors (pardon me) after they had their title (having the government supporting their study so far), they went into other non-clinical - insurance, politics, health admin and most could not handle the stress in the line of duty and decided to be housewives.
Could this be the reason why doctors still shouldering a large burden in the line of duty?
"theres only so much u can do in a day 4 pts"
Maybe being more in the medical field, one had forgotten that at the end of the day, we are also human. There will be a day, or maybe two day, or maybe more, when we will be in the hospital bed, being severely ill and hopeless. Then, would you be hoping that the doctor could have done more for you?
One maybe dreading long hours of on-call, blood taking, writing the consultant’s words without thinking, tracing results, reviewing old notes, preparing IV drugs, retracting and stitching up at OT, and listening to patients grumble about difficulty in breathing after they had smoked a few puff but at the end of the day, we are not the one with CA of head of pancreas.
Doctor is not god, and should not be playing god, but please reminded that
If you can’t handle the responsibilities, you can always strip away your powers and lead a normal life. Not that you’re being bitten by a radioactive spider, right?
P/S anyway, mamat, you always have the SLAB to shorten your "suffering", right?
Sing Yee had obstructive jaundice
Helmi had upper GI bleed
Nadia had colorectal ca
the whole session was not depressing or pressure mounted, but felt like answering SAT (short answer test) in long case.
Dr. Thi Ha asked me about:
- types of melanoma? beats me. benign and malignant?
- what is subungual melanoma? i bullshitted about darkened skin or melanoma under nail bed, causing eversion of nail, deformed nail, may cause gangrene at the finger tip if circulation was affected. He laughed and told me only the first part is enough.
- complication of TPN? knew the drill
- types of radiotherapy? got the common types covered - PO, external beam, brachytherapy… missed out on IV for sarcoma
- non-neoplastic diseases for radiotherapy? i knew Grave’s nia. then he reminded me of Gamma Knife for trigeminal neuralgia, epilepsy, AVM…
- tumor lysis syndrome? knew about it, but could not answer completely
- many many other question which knocked me down flat, really flat.
though, I learnt plenty of stuff from him
the most depressing thing is I am the last person to present my case.
Waiting there for hours and hours and hours and hours…
Sep 27, 2005
"there are signs that a majority of UK doctors now favour legalisation of physician assisted suicide with stringent safeguards"
This is very much depressing, and I particularly support this chap below
Eugene B Wu,
Interventional fellow, cardiovascular division
Brigham and Women’s Hospital, ppb-1, 75 Francis Street, Boston, MA 02215, USA
"The position the BMA has taken on euthanasia troubles me deeply. Truth is not determined by head counting, right is not determined by votes, and good is not determined by law. Ethics cannot and should not be determined by popularity. The turning of the tide of opinion about euthanasia does not make euthanasia right. Democracy may be a good way to select a president to run a country, but it is not a good way to do ethics. Slavery, eugenetics, female genital mutilation, ethnic cleansing, and infanticide have all be democratically deemed as good in other cultures and in history. To suggest that just because many people agree with euthanasia and therefore we should legalize it is simply bad ethics.
Those who say that "They wouldn’t let a dog die like my old dad died", may be failing to genuinely appreciate the gross difference in the value of life between his old dad and his old dog. The value of human life is not determined by votes, nor by law. Philosophically, assuming all men are created equal, then, the value of human life is at least as great as the value of my life. Therefore, I am at no liberty to take another man’s life and also at no liberty to take my own life. Since my life is valued higher than my autonomy. In fact, this should come as no surprise to practicing clinicians as many of us have persuaded, argued, and limited our patient’s autonomy for beneficience. From the simple persuasion to stop smoking after a coronary stent to a desperate warning against further alcohol in liver disease, we put their benefit above their autonomy. If we are willing to so discard their autonomy for modest benefits, how much more should we be willing to do so for life?
Historically, doctors have stood out against the crowd on many issues. Even today, doctors in Africa recommend chastity to prevent HIV. Our stand for clean water, vaccination, healthy diet, tobacco use and alcohol use stand against the majority trend of our societies. Our recommendation is more passionate and more urgent than the manufacturer’s "smoking is a cause for lung cancer" label on the packages of their products. When did we, as a profession, lose our guts to stand up for what is right?
As an ageing physician, I unwisely yearn for the days when medicine was a professional vocation, when patient’s trusted their doctors, when legal threats did not impact our decisions. There are many reasons for the degeneration of our profession and the lost of trust of the public. Perhaps one of them, is that we are becoming like the public, for we no longer stand upon ethics, but upon opinions.
Let us not change our position on what is right based upon votes. "
Are becoming more like public? I had to have a closer look at my fellow members of my fraternity…
Several signs that they were
idiot moron nincompoop blockhead dimwit donkey dumbbell imbecile jackass jerk meathead nitwit pinhead typical low life:
- Last spot-check, they have it the night before our exam at 1am. they don’t even introduce themselves and force their way through into the room with the spare key in their hand.
- Current spot-check, they even brought guys to go around ladies’ hostel. Just a soft-spoken "spot check" and within seconds, they opened the door to the room with the spare key. One of my coursemates were changing her attire at that time. Ain’t this all just insane? Why don’t the pengeTUA-TUA give us a spare key to her house?
- They confiscated electrical items, but surprisingly, they left the cigarette packs alone.
Typical reply "Jika tak suka tinggal kolej ini, boleh tinggal lain tempat."
Sep 25, 2005
Found a japanese name for myself:
松尾 Matsuo (tail of a pine tree) 明 Akira (bright)
song wei ming
The website is pretty cool, to put my mind off, especially after getting some darn unexpected question about complication of total parenteral nutrition in my end of posting paper exam just now. Luckily, Helmi discussed it a bit just before we entered the exam hall just now. Should have discuss it in greater length.
Here’s what I found about Matsuo Akira.
You can go here for the name generator site.
You can also get a name for your penis. I took the liberty and generate a name for the **** of my friend by the pseudonym Shawn Haririe
It’s called "Hannibal the Perky Spaghetti Strand"
ASS CPR PROGRAM
Well, that’s what left on the big board behind the stage on the same night this program ended. It is actually the Mass CPR program, last tuesday, organized by UMMC Emergency Department. The main person behind this is Dr. Ali. It was held at our dining hall, all first years and final years is in the program.
In the morning, the final years had to practice and fine tune our CPR skills till we were darn tired, and as Dr. Ali defined it "You had to practice till you sweat in your underpants"
1st response: *EWWWWW!!!*
2nd response: *wouldn’t that predispose us to anal fistula, fissure, etc*
After lunch, we had a short on-stage sketch with dance, which I had practiced them rather haphazardly, but I followed the "veteran" dancer - Norliadi well, and managed to get through the dance without creating too much of attention or humiliation on my behalf. The sketch is actually based upon Akademi Fantasia, and I am the only chinese participant there. I was there because most of my groupmates in Surgery was there - Shawin (tall, dark and buttless main actor), Aishah (gypsy lady), Nadia (perky girl). Racism apart, beside me, I don’t think others would be interested to join us.
At first, I was rather negative about the whole sketch revolving MAINLY around the dance, which is rather difficult to choreograph and seems meaningless to the whole CPR program. But, it turned out to be a "blockbuster" as mentioned by Dr. Ali.
My friends actually found that the dance is the main attraction point, something different from the previous years, where it only involved amok shouting, and non-sensical shrieking, and people collapsing everywhere without any obvious entertainment value.
Everyone, especially the juniors, had a good laugh at me for dancing, not because I was funny up on stage, just because they never would expect me to be dancing so well (ahem…) on stage. Ok, maybe I should say, dancing just ok.
My buddy, Tracie, jokingly asked me after the CPR program: "Have you ever seen a dancing pig before?".
"No, I haven’t seen you dance before, even if you do, I don’t want to see it" was my reply.
INAUGURATION OF MPPSR
last saturday, at Dewan Jemerlang, UM medic faculty, officiated by Tun Dr. Mahathir, MPPSR "malaysian physician for peace and social responsibility" headed by Dr. Ronald McCoy, with one of the committee members being my beloved medicine tutor when I was in Klang, Dr. Raveendran.
I guess I had to agree with this mamat. If without the presence of Tun, the attendance of such event would be like the attendance for out PPD class - sinisterly low. Some of my friends actually were so desperate to take picture with him that they made him the background.
It is the first time I meet Tun up close - he’s really larger than life. And he made good speech about the ‘primitive’ world we are living in. He’s right. Killing one person, you are labelled a murderer, but killing a few hundred millions of people (ie in Iraq) is alright.
Beside the speech by Tun, there’s 2 striking things I love about this event:
- The food: mushroom egg tart rocks!!
- The vision of Dr. Ronald Roy: "We have got rid of human sacrifice, slavery and apartheid. How did we do it?" he asked.
I realized that there are "impossibles" that we can just accept them to make our life easier, or these "impossibles" are something that we can really strive to make it possible and make life more wonderful for everyone in the generations to come(sounds like an old man d), by every simple effort that we can, or at least by having the faith in it.
Sep 22, 2005
(Far from the patient) He commented, "Student, you see, there’s really no pride in having a long *****." and he cheekily smiled.
All the guy urologist kept telling the patient as well that "their time will come". And I realized, my time would come, too, if I live long enough.
Apparently, BPH is an almost universal phenomenon in men as they age, beginning at 45 years old and continuing until, by age 70, 90% of men have an enlarged prostate.
So, calling all men alive out there, who still do not realize this fact, you better be forewarned. Here’s an interesting place and here where you can get information about BPH and it’s integrated relieving factor from music therapy to herbs to color therapy.
By the way, here’s an interesting new flu - DOG FLU.. how do they got it? being horsy with some horses perhaps.. read more here in New York Times.
4years/LG monitor 15"/white housing
with chief complaint of generalized blurring of pictures into black and white stripes
- first episode, no past history of mechanical or electronical problem
- gradual in onset
- intermittent, usually 3-5minutes
- progressively becoming worse
- initially relieved by moderate tapping of the monitor over the lateral left
- but symptoms came back, I had to remove the cover and push gently a panel behind to make it better
- insidiously, 3 days ago, the screen had blueish discoloration followed on by greenish discoloration, not relieved by the previous method
- then, it became black over the screen, but the whole circuit is still running, because i tested it with a test pen.
Any computer expert with a solution?
Anyone out there near PJ with a spare computer monitor viable for loan (just for 6 months more to go) or anyone with a reliable second hand monitor for sale?
P.S. Idio_syn, the vids in the pc, I can’t extract what I can’t see. apology for tht delay. The vids is of bad resolution anyway.
Sep 21, 2005
I told my groupmate "He is actually a very good example to all of us. A very good EXAMPLE that is bad to follow."
Him: "why are you late?"
Me: "got mild diarrhoe" (i sincerely do have one episode)
Him: " do you want me to colonoscope you?"
Me: (silent) ………….
(thinking in my mind "next time, when you had diarrhoe, let me have the honour,dr")
This message goes out to all my friends and people who are junior to me, if I am a prick, please tell me straight to my face, or in a more Asian way, send me a note or memo. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my friends who reminded me of my mistakes over the years.
Aug 28, 2005
Bad news, guys! The entrance fee to our beloved lovely island maybe raised again. Sammy Vee still keeping perfect silence over it.
To all my juniors who currently at Sarawak, busy with the Baktisiswa, I wish you all best of luck and will have lots and lots and lots and lots of fun helping out people there, learning new knowledge and gaining new experience.
Currently, I am in Surgery posting.
Everything in the havoc. The clerk at the department was absent the first day, failed to prepare the timetable for us in second day, and finally gave our exhausted new TL, Suhaiza the timetable on late evening. All our schedule had to be rearranged and for this moment, I am really pissed with that clerk. Acknowledging that feeling, I am now more at peace with myself, shall proceed to attend the Anaest practical class straight after I finished the last sentence here. Yes, here.
Aug 27, 2005
"they say, if you must resort to violence, you had already lost"
An interesting piece of news about Japan underworld. A new head had been appointed. Guess how old is he? You’re right - he’s 63.
Special thanks to Prof Gracie for the enlightening chat a nd the thunderous claps.
Also thanks to Dr.Siva (taking master in Anaest) for your time and effort in teaching me lots of stuffs in A&E on Friday night, although being unhappy about master students being the kuli in A&E.