Jan 5, 2010

the great 2010 1Malaysia dream!


completely pimped from here, but i think this is a great dream. really amusing writing by Tay.

A person is great because of his big dreams.

The crystal ball will tell us that a series of world-rocking miracles will take place in Malaysia this year!

1. Malaysia's Lotus F1 racing team will debut in Bahrain. Pre-racing bets put the team in the last position at 10%, out of race after less than ten rounds at 15%, skidding out of the track in Round One at 25%, and engine dying off at flag-off at 50%.

During the actual race, the audience will have their mouths wide open in awe, seeing Lotus' Jarno Trulli flashing past one car after another, trailing only Mercedes' Michael Schumacher in the concluding round.

With the end almost within reach, Trulli makes an impressive swerve, and throws Schumacher out of the track to claim the title.

The entire nation is plunged into instant hysteria, as racing critics agree in unanimity that the stint is unprecedented in F1's history.

Virgin's boss Sir Richard Bronson keeps his promise, serving the passengers in AirAsia hostess' bright red mini skirt on an AirAsia plane.

Subsequently, F1's technical team discovers that Lotus' engine appears to have been modified from that of an F-5E warplane, triggering an angry lawsuit from the Malaysian government as well as the national F1 team.

2. Universiti Malaya makes a quantum leap in 2010 global university ranking. Little-known Universiti Malaya makes it to the world's top 50 for the first time!

The whole world roars in disbelief, but after an explanation from the evaluation committee, critics accept the fact and stand in salute to the university.

The reasons:

- UM's mandarin debate team has crushed their rivals from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan to become the champion;

- UM's medical and pharmacy faculties jointly develop Tongkat Ali durian essence boasting far more superior efficacy than Viagra minus the undesirable side effects, allowing a third of all adult men in this world to regain their virility;

- UM hires Tiger Woods to head its physical education faculty to boost the country's sports levels. At the same time, with the help of UM faculty of psychology's anxiety research team, Woods has overcome his paraphilia problems. As a token of appreciation for the country's great benevolence, Woods helps the country clinch the world title in international golfing championship.

3. Dr Mahathir is announced the winner of 2010 Nobel Peace Prize, much to the objection of critics who begin to question the selection panel's credentials.

The selection panel explains that the selection for this year's winner is a departure from past practices in that winner is chosen to serve as an object of admonition rather than appreciation.

Mahathir's blatant claim that he is a racist has jeopardised inter-racial relations in Malaysia. In the past he used to abuse the power entrusted to him to destroy the country's independent judiciary system while conniving at acts of corruption.

The presentation of the peace award to Mahathir is meant to encourage him to turn over a new leaf while warning the world of the dangers such people could wreak.

Everyone nods in acceptance.


Haris Abdul Rahman said...

There is something amiss about your writing on Tiger Woods. How come there is no mention that Tiger will get a Datuk-ship or Tan Sri-ship? Disgraceful. And while we are at it, how come there is also no mention from the Ministers demanding that he change his name to Harimau Kayu in light of our curriculum now going all to Bahasa Malaysia? Huish!

pilocarpine said...

drharis, not really my writing.original author is Tay.

bout Tan Sri Tiger and Harimau Kayu... that would be a bigger dream!!

The Angry Medic said...

LOL oh man this made me laugh and laugh. Especially the F1 part. Thanks for sharing! And btw consider yourself officially stalked ;)

pilocarpine said...

wow... thanks for stalking me, angry medic... to tell u the truth... your guidelines on starting housemanship/doctorhood, i copied them down and printed them and kept it... and they really help enjoy my housemanship very much... THANKS..