true true true

a forward from shirley gan:

Today, in Malaysia, there is no longer just the
Chinese. Along the way, the Chinese people
divided beyond dialects and religious faith. We now
have denomination within the Chinese. The major
three groups are Regular, Cina, and Ah Beng.

The Regular group is the minority, making up less
than 20% of the Chinese people. This group has
the following characteristics:
1. Speaks English as the first language.
2. Thinks the world owes them a living.
3. Uses the Internet more than the other two
groups combined.
4. Loves the iPod and/or IKEA.
5. Watches one or more of the following TV
series: "Sex And The City","Friends", or "CSI."
6. Thinks that the Regular group is way larger than
it is and makes fun of the other groups, particularly
the Ah Beng group. Why? Because it’s fun.

Recent studies have also shown that there is a
growing splinter group within the Regular group
known as the CPWTTANC group. (CPWTTANC is
short for Chinese People Who Think They Are Not
Chinese.) This growing subgroup are considered
elitist by some and are found making statements
like "I wish I were in the U.S." or "This never
happened when I was studying in Australia."

They also tend to speak with an unidentifiable
accent. The women may also prefer to date white
men from foreign countries with the excuse that
local men just "don’t understand me" and have the
secret desire to
be taken away to the U.S. to live in a sitcom.

The second Chinese group, Cina make up
approximately 55% of the Chinese community.
(Cina is derived from the Malay word Cina which
means Chinese and is pronounced "chee-na". And
you will have to say it in a condescending tone for
effect.)

This group is considered mainstream and
contribute to the numbers that reflect development
in the country. They are the masses in context of
the Chinese community. In other words, if you
want to sell something to the masses of Chinese
people, the Cina is it.

The Cina are identified by the following traits:
1. Speaks Mandarin or Cantonese as the first
language.
2. Generally quiet, self-effacing, and obliging but
are actually shrewd and calculative.
3. Sees Taiwan as the place to be.
4. More likely to forward chain email to people in
their address book.
5. Goes to Halo Caf or Wow Wow Caf BY
CHOICE at least three times a year.
6. Has Astro hardwired to Wah Lai Toi.
7. Calls a music video an MTV instead of music
video.
8. Knows all the dim sum dishes by name.
9. Seventy percent of lighting at home generated
by fluorescent lights.

The last group are known as the Ah Bengs. This
term was probably made up by the Regulars in the
early 80s during the cultural invasion that saw the
mass import of music and movies from countries
like Hong Kong, Taiwan, and to some extent,
Japan . This phenomenon saw the more open-
minded and runaway members of
the Cina group defect into Ah Bengs and its
feminine equivalent, Ah Lian. They just took their
Alan Tam and Anita Mui a little too Seriously.

Perhaps the most made-fun-of group not only by
its own Chinese people but by people of other
races, the Ah Bengs are often seen as people
living on the edge and have more flamboyant
tastes.

One may identify the Ah Beng by these tell-tale
signs:
1. Built-in visual self-defence mechanism that
keeps people away from them.
2. Have enough amplifiers in their one car to power
speakers for six cars.
3. Hair not in their original colour.
4. Volume of voice is automatically five decibels
higher than everyone else.

5. Excessive use of the phrase "Kan Ni Na Bu
Ciao Chee Bai". (Although, to be fair, some
members of the Regular group have been reported
to use the phrase on a daily basis as well.)
6. Once a fan of one of the following groups:
Vengaboys, Dr Bombay, Aqua, or the Cheeky
Girls.
7. Their Proton car does not look like a Proton car
due to modifications.
8. For the Ah Lians, have at least one bag
fashioned after a furry animal complete with the
head.

So, which one are you???

I am a regular cina with some beng-ish moments. and god-bless (not using the word damn before my exam although i am not superstitious) proud of it!!