Change our lifestyle?

With all the subsidy been withdrawn out slowly, perhaps it's time to change our lifestyle.
It's time for a change. The keyword is CHANGE.

P.S. You're right. I'm not a big fan of the paperless technology, afterall.

Exceptionally inceptional

When you think, the big screens had nothing to offer anymore besides those lame cartoon and animation, some onscreen adaptations of some comic or novel or some sets of trilogies, the new, biggest and probably the most inceptional idea of the century blew up all over the place and forced your mind to pick up the pieces after enjoying this mind-blowing masterpiece.

From the foundation of idea, it probably could have came from an episode of 'Heroes' in one of the 3rd season (if I'm not mistaken) displaying a fine revelation by the mind-reading cop that his gene were from his father who took the mind-reading capabilities further into creating dreams, even for the awake.

Probably Chris Nolan wanted his masterpiece to be more down to earth, more realistic, and withing reach. The power of dreams can be achievable by sedatives. And the realm of possibilities is there, it is just a matter whether one have the balls to pursue it.

He brought it further up the notch by adding up the thrill of business espionage with Leo's emotional struggle, spiced with humor here and there.

It is my firm belief that the story of love and forbidden exploration of love took the centrestage. Eventhough the scenes were few, they (the scenes, not the actress) were stripteasing sensationally till the naked truth surfaced.

The message of love is that for love to be forever, forever may not be such a good idea after all.

Probably, being such a big blockbuster, there will be a spin off of this original film in some Hongkie movie or probably a parody by the name of 'Interception' or a TV series on it. I wouldn't be surprise if the low budget directors come up with medley of wet dreams within wet dreams and probably named it as 'Incestion'.

The football-crazy doctor

there's always few good reasons why a doctor should love football and football betting.

My colleague brought up the unique reason why he placed the RM1000 bet in some of the WC's matches is to train up the poker-faced calmness when the team on bet conceded more goals than the number of fingers in one hand. Similarly, the calmness come when facing an obstetric emergency such as a 2nd twin with hand prolapse, making the patient dubious of the great mental tsunami in the practitioner's mind. From the first few second of mention, it does sound completely BS, but on deep thought (yes, I do that regularly at impromptu moments), he is probably right. A panicky face is always bad for the business, no matter what business you're in.

the following video also does tell a tale that no matter how much you're crazy about football, a doctor should never CROSS the line, not just literally.

P.S. No, my colleague is not the football-crazy doctor. He's a fine lad who simply been overworked and underpraised, seriously.

contraception abuse

solid proof that wrong usage of contraception can be detrimental to one's well being.

And, never underestimate a good complete sexual history. It can saves life.

27-year-old lady presented with persistent cough, sputum and fever for the preceding six months. Inspite of trials with antibiotics and anti-tuberculosis treatment for the preceeding four months, her symptoms did not improve.

A subsequent chest radiograph showed non-homogeneous collapse-consolidation of right upper lobe.

Videobronchoscopy revealed an inverted bag like structure in right upper lobe bronchus and rigid bronchoscopic removal with biopsy forceps confirmed the presence of a condom.

Detailed retrospective history also confirmed accidental inhalation of the condom during fellatio.[PMID Reference: 14870871]

1. Arya CL, Gupta R, Arora VK. Accidental condom inhalation. Indian J Chest Dis Allied Sci. 2004 Jan-Mar;46(1):55-8. [PMID: 14870871][PDF]

Celebrating aging

The day I celebrated the anniversary of me coming into this world was the day the administration of my home-state came under fire, grossly being undermined.

The spat between Chief Minister and the ‘little Napoleon’ was never a surprise to those who are familiar with what was happening since the crimson tide swept and drowned the dark blue hill over this precious land.

Civil servants were largely overpaid legion in our Bolehland, except for a few who are tied down to their professional ethics to work hard and a lot of them who were gaining good pace in improving their own services. The one that I’m saluting lately would be the officers and great leaders behind the services that made preparation of MyKad and Passport a breeze and a 24-hours or less-than-a-week affair.

Traditionally, being in the civil servant is largely a comforting place to be. They run a higher risk of being suck into a black hole in space rather than being retrenched from the service or being fired, even if they are obviously in the wrong. Few years back, there is a Department solely for Promotion (Kenaikan Pangkat), meaning one either stay where they are, or go up. So, even if the quality of work is almost of equal to natural human excreta, one stay well employed with extra bucks to puff a few extra sticks.

Quality apart, their quantity of time spent on their work is often being divided between actual ‘serious’ paperwork and their twice a day ‘informal coffee break’ aptly named as morning tea and evening tea, exclusive of their formal 1 hour lunch break. Of course, I wouldn’t want to discuss about their nicotinic-nebulizing session at different frequency throughout the day in accordance to their level of addiction.

The thing about civil servants is that they are not civil after all.

But largely, there is lot of improvement since Pak Lah and Najip cracked their whip. The agency for Promotion now also equipped with the power of Demotion. Whether or not this is a genuine move towards improvement or just another smokescreen to please the public is still questionable. Still, from my personal experience (and all the bitterness that came along with it), they are still a handful of sharp scissors in the civil service that helped me cut through the long stubborn red tape. And I hope they will always be around.

Civil servants in the State government seriously had a working dilemma in this two-party system. The life and death of civil service is under the Feds but their work is for the State.

Thus, who is the boss?

Let make it clearer. Federal government is like the owner of the business and in-charge of Human Resource Department, the major share holders. State government is like the Managing director. Save for this case, the Managing Director is not only answerable to the major share holders, but summed up their relationship as ardent enemies.

Not so clear, afterall.

Let make it clearest. The Federal Government is NOT the major share holders. The people, the rakyat, the Malaysians, the public is THE major share holders, the Feds just the temporary 4-years service Human Resource Department with its own autonomy, free from the control of Managing Director.

Hence, there is no dilemma after all. (and yes, I do get high on contradicting myself)

Civil servants should serve the public under the leadership of both the Feds and States.

Not any party.

Chief Minister is the representative of the majority of rakyat, therefore being insubordinate and downright rude to him is equally kept the people who voted him in equally pissed.

Condoning such misbehavior by the leaders from Federal Government totally defeats the aim of building up the correct work ethics in serving the rakyat.

People first? Performance Now?

P.S. A big thank you for my dearest family and all my friends for the birthday wishes... I never thought there will come a time for me not to hate spam... Thanks for spamming my facebook wall...

Pink preparation

After a tired week, I was hoping this weekend would be a nice respite, but it was anything but. Nevertheless, to choose between being idle or productive, I chose to the latter, without any reproductive connotation.

I had some good slumber through out the night and evening, which was a luxury that I demand of in view of my busy days throughout the last few days, being an obligate caesarean sectionist by the day and pelvic ultrasonographer by night.

Honestly, I was panic a bit, in my own silence and all, when my dearest listed down some dreaded symptoms of this pregnancy – heatiness, abdominal itchiness, etc, etc and I stopped her when she mentioned ‘abdominal tightening’. Luckily, it was transient and I seriously hope it was all Braxton-Hicks, some regular sessions by the uterus to make sure when the real thing comes along, it can perform with great excellence.

I guessed I simply can’t take the baby’s room preparation at turtle speed anymore.

We went out, ordered the air-conditioner, and bought the fan and the new lights. Picking the right reliable model of air-conditioner together with the fairly-priced technician got few of our neurons well-toasted.

I was glad that my dad contacted someone to get the ceiling done as well. The old ceiling looked like it is going to crumble down at anytime.

Next week, I will be painting the room, and it’s going to be ‘pink’. My obvious rejection of this motion was denied. My wifey and son, Aedan ganged up on me.

Hope the room will be ready for the homecoming of my lovely little princess Genevieve.

Sweet excuses

The Star, Friday July 16, 2010

Health issue a factor in sugar price increase

PETALING JAYA: Sugar suffered the highest cut in subsidies and the reasons are obvious – to counter diseases due to “over-use” of the commodity.

A statement from the Prime Minister’s Office pointed out that 40% of Malaysians were overweight or obese.

“Incidents of diabetes are rising quickly. Statistics show that the percentage of Malaysians with diabetes now exceeds that in the United States.

“We must, as a matter of urgency, take every step available to tackle what is clearly a public health issue for our nation. Reducing sugar consumption, among our children in particular, is a step in the right direction,” it said.

The other reasons offered were countering smuggling of the commodity and the subsidy benefiting non-targeted groups.

It was noted that businesses used twice as much subsidised sugar than households, while sugar continues to be smuggled overseas.

“In 2009 alone, smugglers were caught with more than 200 metric tonnes of sugar for sale across the borders,” the statement added.

All sugar and sweet may not be nice.

The big titles in most dailies, except those stubborn papers who continued to print despite Home Minister's banning, will most probably covers how much the subsidy cut leading to a rise to several prices for several commodities. No, I am not saying this cuts were nice. But though, seems to be attractive enough that loads of Malaysian been proclaiming in the cyberspace about their intention to copulate with the government, specifically the ruling party. Their shout outs were crude, not stating how they wish to go about executing this indecent act or whether their entry would be upfront or rear.

Basically, secretly and quietly, I am probably from the same cohort, but I think the most decent thing to do is by the ballot box and to influence others to do the same.

Here on the topic of health, probably, I wish to express my personal opinion that sugar is not, to make it clearer, NOT a cause of diabetic.

To make my opinion peppered out with sound scientific albeit medical details, I shall explain further from very basic. I won't go into the complicated territory of LADA or MODY. There are 2 types of diabetes, cleverly named as Type 1 and Type 2. Basically Type 1 is by fate and the other is by fat.

Type 1 is genetic. The organ in the body called pancreas failed to produce sufficient insulin, therefore causing malregulation of sugar in the blood, leading to diabetes.

Type 2 is due to insulin intolerance meaning how the body rejects the real function of insulin, although sufficient hormone in the body. How this intolerance came about is basically linked to how much fat/adipose one collected in the body, mainly in the abdomen.

Therefore, most of Malaysians diabetics are of Type 2 and mostly obese.

Sugar is not the cause of obesity. Carbohydrate is.

One can only stand a fair amount of sugar. Too much will surely make a person feel like puking, nauseated, annoyed, violent and probably swear like a ... u get the picture. I went through hell and hell and took a lot of courage and time to convince my dearest to undergo the 2nd MGTT (modified glucose tolerance test) during this pregnancy. MGTT basically is about screening for pregnancy-induced diabetes by taking blood sugar level before and 2 hours after drinking a cup of thick super duper sugary cup of water.

With the limit cap on the sugar, to have obesity from chronic overdose of sugar is like collecting pennies every day, hoping to be a millionaire.

The real big bucks in collecting all the major notes, or better still the amount of money directly transferred to the account without being burden by the weight of having them.

That is when the carbohydrate kicks into the picture. It is the rice and its other alter ego. Carbohydrate or more glamorously being known as carbs, when broken down turns in a full packet of sugar and carbs does come with the extra yuckiness from overeating.

Malaysians can take one plate after another. From day to night. From night to day. Pampering themselves while ordering a cup of Milo kurang manis. Trying their best to deceive their body from hooking up diabetes.

Cigarettes a health hazzard. Alcohol a health hazzard. Sugar a health hazzard, too?

Are we going to have sin taxes for sugar in our upcoming Budget 2011?

Looking at this argument, probably the government will roll up subsidy on rice, too. Will it work?

Not really. Having a good feast on carbs is bad for us. We know it, even if it is subconscious. But to have a good meal of carbs is actually not really out of need, but because we simply 'can' and we simply want to do it.

It is also becoming a culture. I remembered those days when I was in the Uni. Once reached fairly late at night, there will be supper session at the mamak. Probably our night study session had triggered off the gastric hyperactivity. And slowly the habit of individuals evolved into the culture of the community.

And where there's a demand, the supply will mushroom out. Even the fastfood joints stepping up to 24hours, knowing exactly that this investment is a bullish one.

Some even made pregnancy as their excuse for eating twice the portion in uncontrollable lust, trying to deceive themselves that they are eating for 2 person.

Then, don't get me started on exercise. Most of the people thinks their work already manage to provide them their required weekly dose of exercise.

A good summary was in the same page of online TheStar's news.

"The need to change living environment such as reducing sedentary behaviour at home and work, building active communities and involve active transport interventions, will help to reduce and prevent obesity,” an expert in the community intervention in Australia Boyd Swinburn quoted as saying.

So, sugar is not so bad after all?

Not really, sugar is bad for those already diagnosed with diabetics. Taking too much of sugar at one time is detrimental to the control of a good acceptable low level of blood sugar in diabetics, making its level opens up to a good ground of volatility which is actually bad, really bad in the long run. Bad meaning kidney failure, eye complications, smelly rot out diabetic foot, heart attack, stroke and damn ugly fking smelly wounds.

But before all those nasty complications kick in, by pulling out the subsidy on sugar, I don't find it convincing enough for the diabetics to reject a good serving of meal with the sugary perfection just because it is a few bucks dearer.

Speaking of meal, to cut down on the amount of sugar in some food, would be a disastrous crisis for the gourmet chefs. Without the right proportion of sugar, the meal would not be the same anymore.

My conclusion, if you really want to remove the subsidy, please do. It's about time Malaysians live without the 'crutch' culture, and start to look for a decent job before illegal immigrants fill up all the vacancy.

P.S. Roaming around Tesco/Giant during office hour and selling a few pieces of various items and calling the job 'kerja sendiri' is not a decent job.

Truth and me...

Found this interesting list through the cyberspace, I added my own comment in bRACket..

Truths For Mature People

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. (haha.. i think there's no need for this... I'm very religious in keeping a clean history)

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. (it sucks worse if you had known you're wrong much later, and too embarassing to correct it later)

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger. (darn right!!)

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. (yeah, baby)

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? (not eh problem here)

6. Was learning cursive really necessary? (definitely, in my field, a very steep one indeed)

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. (irrelevant to me)

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. (yes, down to the microscopic pathogenesis would be academical as well)

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired. (even holidays were tiring, too.. )

10. Bad decisions make good stories. (make good horror stories)

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. (thank god, it doesnt happen often)

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. (always terrified, always.)

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever. (given serious thoughts on them)

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away? (severely pissed, especially when it is the call from the hospy)

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. (I think seeing anyone is just as important. I rarely look good anyway.hah)

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. (EXACTLY!!)

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. (non-relevance)

20. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

21. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. (exactly! it's like a visual enlightening)

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. (it's a man thing. trust me)

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. (i NEVER look forward to a red light. Texting can be done even in green)

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. (twice as hard for me)

25. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? (twice, never more)

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! (when entering the underpass, after coming off from Penang bridge.)

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. (Long live pants!!!)

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? (More A's means more Asses)

29. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. (I don't have the feeling going to die, just felt the whole world will be watching the whole dynamic of the fall.)

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists. (And motorcyclists who ride like a bicyclists.Darn annoying. period)

31. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. (I'm not actually looking for time, I am just giving a hint to someone that I'm blardy concern about the amount of life or time I had sacrificed for his/her bullshit)

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! (The grand wisdom of snooze.)

Grief

One of my most respected Consultant, had to come back from his emergency leave. Eventhough within days of grieving after the passing away of one of his closest family member, he came back to chair the department as the temporary Head of Department as several Chinese dailies had jumped on the bandwagon of front headlining the grief of a mother who had lost a pair of twin through miscarriage.

A daily went far and wide by putting up the five big chinese letter in red, which loosely translated as 'Causing Death of the Dragon Phoenix Conception (Twin of boy and girl)'.

The enquiry began today, with my Consultant having one heart attack after another when he found out that the news went as far as brief 10minutes in Astro News section and some discussions over My Fm.

To be honest, I am part of the team who treated this unfortunate lady.
To be honest, as well, I can't reveal the whole nature of her complaint and the source of her complaint.

But the conclusion from this enquiry can be summarized into few words.
Mismatched expectations. Poor communications. Weak understanding of medical urgency.
And lastly, helpful over-enthusiastic politician.

Through this, everyone seems to gain something. the good, the bad and the ugly.

The patient and family.
Her grudge put through. She can go through her grief phase more comfortably. It is bad to bottle up problems.

The press.
Sales. Sales. Hot hot sales. Translate into good rating, and good money. Press freedom at its ugliest form.

The medical team.
Will be able to pinpoint the shortfalls and to improve the whole management, provided the ministry is able to give us enough fundings to make the whole hospy and the staffs treat every customer like a queen with a chest of gold. We also have a lot of superpowers as well, just to make some bloodtaking a practice of the afteryears.

Consultants, specialists and medical officers had to sacrifice their time from treating and seeing patients in wards and clinics to attend this emergency inquiry. Some patients had to given another appointment another time. Well, those are just other members of the public that the YB failed to champion.

Not just the management of this patient, the whole circumstances in which events took place should be investigated. Due to the severe lacking of staffs, especially the medical officers, other emergencies surely had to be prioritized.

The ministry should also look at the paper presented by the ignorant admin, listing the whole range of empty slots in the medical officers range which was conveniently filled up by the house officers, who were mostly a baby-sitting burden.

Just today, one of the house officers, who already completed a surgical-based posting, actually trying to burr a hole into the clitoris, when trying to insert a Foley's into the urethra before the C-section. And trust me, he was trying very hard.

The politician.
Can be seen doing something. Have himself look like the hero of the people.
But in actual fact, he is the champion of ONE people, not the people.

Instead of running to the press, to headline himself, he should instead channel the problem to the proper authority, ie MMC Malaysia Medical Council or knock on the door of the State Health Directory, who will surely succumb to his political pressure to investigate further.

I'm sure investigation and inquiry will be done impartially even without the public pressure and every doubts of the unfortunate lady will be cleared just the same.

Going to the press with an one-sided story is simply an unacceptable move.

Frankly, from how he handles this piece of grief clearly shown his immaturity to serve and surely he has much more to cover in order to gain the respect from the medical fraternity.

Please don't treat the medical fraternity like other members of the public servants. We are impartial and we treat everyone just the same, no matter you're from Balisan or PR, from our Bolehland or from outside. Just reminded me of the time when I had a fine cocktail of Vietnamese, Thai and Burmese delivering in our labor room, going home happily with the wide smile.

Lastly, there are few questions I collected from the net, which I have my own personal answer to it.

On his own ability as a young candidate, Koay said: “Dr Teng says I am young and I can wait (to become a state assemblyman). Yes, I can wait but can the people?”

The people should have waited.

Koay admitted that the campaigning was “tough going at the moment due to the small number of volunteers though we hope to recruit more soon”.

Recruit some maturity, as well.

At this moment, it's all grief, grief, grief and grief.

Perhaps he can help us all out, since his Constituency does cover the hospy ground.

At least, be man enough to apologize.

Earn our respect. Be the real Berhormat.

At the end of the day, the people (not ONE people) voted you in.

There are many ways to handle a grief.
The good way, the bad way and the ugly way.
Learn to differentiate them, please.

P.S. Calling us the killers of baby in the case of miscarriage is simply just too heartbreaking, even for the public.

Jokes apart...

I have a penchant for good jokes, especially those seriously-made jokes which repackaged themselves as something of a serious nature.

Recently my colleague received a referral from a certain unit with an ill patient hooked up on oxygen, as the lung function was pretty much not doing her much justice in the area of gas exchange, due to a fair amount of pulmonary haemorrhage aka bleeding in the lungs, clearly shown in the chest signs and radiograph. Her stare with the bloodshot Dracula eyes with florid conjunctiva haemorrhage were hardly a sign of terror, but simply the horrible sad, gloomy subsets of the aftermath of the probable over-the-top anticoagulation disorder coupled with her underlying connective tissue disease.

From her oral cavity, she did managed to retch out some blood, staining her saliva, or was it the other way round? And subsequently an intelligent move of prompt referral was made to the esteemed surgical team. Fortunately for her, the per-rectal finger check did not yield any signs of sinister bleed within the gastrointestinal tract.

There was nothing coming out of her genital tract, but probably a modern day risk management accounted for the referral to the gynae squad, to rule out any bleeding from the genitals. Who knows, perhaps a fair amount of blood might be collected within the potential space of the vagina and decided to stay there without dropping out, right? Thus, this had subjected the obviously misled and misguided lady to more unnecessary examination which should have adequate bed rest and rest and rest till the coagulation antithesis kicks in to bring this unfortunate soul over this crimson crisis.

Looking at this trend, probably prompt referrals should be made to the neurosurgical, gastro, ENT, renal, and every other teams which had always been dedicated on standby with high regards for any bleeding, major or minor, involving their respective pet organs.

P.S. It is rather entertaining nonetheless to have my specialist reminding me to be vigilant about differentiating his jokes and serious remarks.

secret society | SOPOS

I believe my anaesthetic colleagues gonna kill me for this..
but seriously, this is just a joke... no hard feelings, ok..
I found this really hillariously funny...

I guess some of my surgical-based colleagues will think so, too...

Anyway, here's something from the fast lane...

The secret Society of Prevention of Surgery. (SOPOS)

This is what the Director of UCEM’s Inquisitorial Disciplinary Committee had to say:

“We have suspected the existence of such a society for quite some time now. The identities of the society’s members are frequently shrouded in secrecy and are difficult to ascertain. However, UCEM investigators have developed a powerful tool for profiling suspects. Validation studies have repeatedly shown it to have excellent performance characteristics.”

“The profile consists of a scoring system using the following items:

• even though the anesthetic tech has checked the anesthetic machine three times, the individual always insists on rechecking it his/herself (and, in the process, usually disrupts some key component that the tech then needs to correct while the individual isn’t watching).
• the individual is left dumbfounded by the notion that there could be more than one way of doing something.
• the individual draws up each of the following drugs in triplicate (in case two of each fall on the floor at the same time): adrenaline (in at least 4 different dilutions), atropine, ephedrine, intralipid, metaraminol, midazolam, propofol, sugammadex, suxamethonium and thiopentone.
• the individual regularly attends Sudoku-aholics Anonymous meetings.
• the individual believes that a serum potassium of 3.3 mmol/L is a strict contra-indication for any kind of surgery — regardless of the indication or patient’s condition.
• compared to blood stains, coffee stains are at least 12,387 times more likely to be found on the individual’s scrubs.
• no operation can proceed unless the individual has confirmed that at least 10 units of blood are cross-matched and available in the operating theatre.
• the individual refers to the drape separating him/herself from the surgeon as ‘the blood-brain barrier’.
• no operation can proceed unless the patient has at least two 14 gauge intravenous cannulae in situ.
• no operation can proceed until the individual has found a spare socket for ipod and speakers. (hat tip to @pieterpeach)
• no operation can proceed until the duty anaesthetist has confirmed that the individual will be relieved for a morning tea break, a lunch break, an afternoon tea break and that come hometime (about 3:30 pm) they will be immediately relieved for urgent convalesence after their full day’s work.
• when asked to state the main role of the anaesthetist, the individual responds emphatically: “to stop the surgeon killing the patient” (rather than correctly reciting the Anaesthetist’s Hymn — see below).”

“For each of these items 1 point is accumulated. A score of 3 or more has a positive-predictive value of 103.4% for the identification of the individual as a bona fide member of the Society for the Prevention of Surgery.”

“We believe that the use of this tool will allow utopian medical practitioners to identify Society members early, thus allowing any obstacles that may arise to be anticipated and, hopefully, overcome.”

I'd screened through most of my anaesthetic colleagues, i believe none of them were a SOPOS.
Phew... =)